‘Tinned fish, but fancy’: Kallos, Salford, reviewed

Canning is surely one of the greatest inventions in history. Things in tins represent a pivotal part of most Brits’ diet. Look in any larder, cupboard or pantry and you’re bound to find something in a tin. Tomatoes, I’d bet, maybe tuna, beans, lentils, spaghetti hoops, Spam, anchovies, perhaps even a rogue rice pudding. I always have a tin of anchovies in the cupboard, as the little wrigglers are the perfect umami punch in almost any dish - except when I’m cooking for the vegans, in which case tinned banana blossom or jackfruit make for marvellous meat substitutes.

The process of canning is over 200 years old, and its invention made possible the almost indefinite preservation of foods that otherwise would have gone off after only a matter of days. Tinned goods kept sailors fed on long boat voyages, kept troops fed in the trenches and made possible the accessibility and affordability of ingredients that would otherwise be difficult to come by.

But it wasn’t always this way - when canning was first invented the tins had to be made by hand, and so they were very expensive. Canned goods were a luxury, and the novelty of things in tins was only enjoyed by those that could afford it. With the mechanisation of producing the cans, and improvements in the canning process, gradually things in tins became cheaper and cheaper and are now so ordinary and humdrum that we don’t think twice about it.

Enter Kallos, the Greek wine bar in Salford that is officially making things in tins great (and expensive) again. In our case, the thing in tin was horse mackerel in brava (£24), which we settled on after some debate about what horse mackerel actually is - and concluded that it was unlikely to be a repeat of the 2013 IKEA/Tesco incident.

Had we Googled it, we would have come across the Reddit forum r/tinnedfish (of course there’s a Reddit forum exclusively for tinned fish - we can only hope this review makes it to such an exquisite corner of the internet) on which someone had posted a picture of the exact same tin with the caption ‘Really enjoyed this tin, horse mackerel is nothing like mackerel, really firm and much smaller with not as much flavour, but the incredible sauce makes up for that’.

The caption says it all really. The smaller, firmer mackerel in a truly incredible sauce - sweet, umami, garlicky - spread across Kallos’ generous domed pitta, touched black by the hot oven, with a thick lick of aioli made for a superlative bite. It was the highlight of an already good dinner, set inside an industrial-ish, buzzy spot in the new fancy bit of Queen Street.

We were sipping on a bottle of Greek assyrtiko (£48), because Greek wine is really very good these days, in between swooping fragments of more of the aforementioned pittas through various piles of tasty mush; hummus (£4), tzatziki (£4) and my personal favourite, a zingy carrot, sumac, zaatar and parsnip dip (£4), which is the sort of thing I expect you might be able to find in a fancy M&S baby food range.

As for solids, there were crispy baby potatoes with a Greek pickled chilli mayo (£4), beetroot salad (£10), Argentinian prawn saganaki (£16), and a slab of feta encased in filo and soaked in honey (£10.50). 

The timeless delight of feta with honey lifted me out of the brief annoyance that they had only given us three large prawns despite there being four of us. Four prawns is quite clearly the optimum number for any table size. Table of two? Two prawns each. Table of three? A prawn each and then a polite fight. Table of four? Prawn each. Table of five? Order two portions. But three prawns throws the whole thing out of whack. 

Fortunately for us one of our party was vegetarian, but I’d argue she didn’t miss all that much - they were rather two dimensional and seemed to have lost some of their flavour on the way over from South America. If they’d had prawns in a tin, I’d wager that they’d have been better. Sadly despite the generous tinned fish selection, prawns were not on the list.

Kallos also serve loaded flatbreads, which are all the rage these days thanks to London-based butter overlord Thomas Straker. We ordered a spanakopita (£8) for the veggie and a lamb shoulder (£11.50) for the rest of us. Both were nicely bronzed and burnished although the fillings didn’t inspire me – but then again any flatbread in Manchester pales in comparison to those of Erst, a mere 30 minute stroll away. I think spanakopita is one of those things that is not to be messed with, the humble Greek pastry creation is perfect and perhaps cannot be improved upon.

We ended on a high with more Greek wine, this time a Gewurztraminer (try saying that when you’re drunk) from Evia (£38 for a 500ml carafe), and baklava (£8). Then we had to evacuate, as if we had stayed any longer the staff might have noticed that my sister-in-law had started drooling over one of the very handsome Greek waiters.

I shall be returning to Kallos, for I noticed as we were bundling Ali out the door that you can buy the tins of fish to take home. Such exquisite tinned goods are enough to convince me to become a prepper and stock up on a shed full. I’ll be having a wonderful time during the apocalypse, thank you very much. All because of a joyful little tin.

Kallos Cafe & Wine Bar, Bankside Blvd, Salford M3 7HD

---

Get the latest news to your inbox

Get the latest food & drink news and exclusive offers by email by signing up to our mailing list. This is one of the ways that Confidentials remains free to our readers and by signing up you help support our high quality, impartial and knowledgable writers. Thank you!

---

Join our WhatsApp group

You can also get regular updates on news, exclusives and offers by joining the Manchester Confidential WhatsApp group.

---

Read next: Manchester’s oldest brewery JW Lees takes home major win at prestigious awards

Read again: Hair brand CURATED moves up north to Manchester