Musical confusion

Sleuth was taking a tour of goodly people around Chorlton for a 40th birthday when they stopped outside 51 Keppel Road, where a famous musical ensemble had grown up. The curtains twitched as concerned residents stared out of the windows at 30 people grouped round their garden gate.

“As a clue to who lived here, it looks like we’ve already given the residents Saturday Night Fever.” said Sleuth. Groans and giggles from the group.

“Wow,” said one woman in her thirties, “I didn’t know ABBA had grown up in Chorlton. I thought they were from Sweden.”

“They came here to set up IKEA in Warrington,” deadpanned Sleuth.

“Did they really?” she said. The group laughed and chided her.

“No, it was the Bee Gees who lived here,” said Sleuth.

“Ah yes,” said the woman, “They had that hit with Making your mind up.”

“You’re the first person to ever merge ABBA, the Bee Gees and Bucks Fizz into one group. That would have been entertaining,” said the birthday boy.

Keppel Road Chorlton — **ABBA grew up at this house in Chorlton**

Spreading the love

You wouldn’t believe the junk that finds its way into Sleuth’s inbox. It hasn’t escaped one enterprising PR agency representing a media-friendly GP, that Valentine’s day shares it’s initials with venereal disease. They even helpfully suggested titles for features such as ‘stay safe on Valentine’s Day: spread love and affection NOT an infection’, ‘say it with love, not a STI’ and Sleuth’s particular favourite, ‘roses are red, violets are blue, I’ve got gonorrhoea and now so have you.’ So it seems that romance is not dead after all, but if you forget to check your bits, you might be.

Sleuth’s stupid burglar of the week

This award goes to Neil Callaghan who, while fleeing the police in Ramsbottom had, according to the MEN, ‘a distinctive tattoo on the back of his neck bearing his name and date of birth which was seen by a witness.’

Criminal Sleuth — **Neil Callaghan: mastermind thief**

Sleuth's crime deterrent of the week

Speaking of crime, Sleuth sees that following the recent reports of muggings in Castlefield, one local gym - taking inspiration from the cardboard cut-outs of police officers often found in corner shops and PoundLand - has taken a more artistic approach to crime prevention...

Mohammad Ali Castlefield Sleuth — **"Go on, dare ya..."**

Legends, vomit and hasty corrections

So to a gathering of the great, the good and the getting-on of such legendary Sixties and Seventies Manchester bands as The Purple Gang, Pete Maclaine and The Clan, The Magic Lanterns and the dubiously-named Smack (who’d further blighted their ‘career’ by vomiting on Tony Wilson’s shoes one night). The occasion was the launch of famed muso CP Lee’s 45-track compilation Manchester - A City United In Music on Tuesday at Gulliver’s in Northern Quarter.

Comprehensively spanning 55 years of Manchester music from Ewan MacColl’s Dirty Old Town right through to Oasis (although no Smiths, thanks to Morrissey’s intransigence – a Johnny Marr track is on there), Sleuth hears the title had been artfully chosen after Oasis were accidentally told the original title was to be Manchester United In Music and promptly withdrew the rights to include Rock'n'Roll Star. Hasty corrections ensued.

If you don’t blow your own trumpet….

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Manchester - A City United In Music boasts several tracks featuring its compiler CP Lee. “The only person who’s on here more often than me is Bruce Mitchell,” confessed CP, although the legendary drummer opted to sit at the Gulliver's bar rather than join the Manchester musicians confessing onstage their colourful misdemeanours during their fifteen minutes of fame (Mick Hucknall not amongst them, as the event was only billed to last a couple of hours). One of jape-meister CP’s many and various incarnations included Gerry & The Holograms, often name-checked as a key influence on New Order’s rather less-obscure Blue Monday. Gerry & The Holograms consisted of CP and John Scott, two Manc men, but so secretive and obscure were they even their most high profile fan, Frank Zappa, introduced them on American radio as “a husband and wife duo from Sheffield.”

Boerewors

Oldham Street’s South African bar and kitchen Chakalaka has made a very bold claim; they are proudly boasting that they offer the 'best sausage in Manchester'. They’ve even made themselves a little logo with the word ‘certified’ stamped across it. Sleuth sent one of Confidential's social media recruits to investigate the claim.

"When I asked who had certified their sausage as the best the manager just shrugged and said 'me'," the recruit later reported, "so it must be true."

Tower stack encourages scandalous behaviour

Sleuth isn’t sure these habits encouraged by this logo on a building site should be encouraged: ‘Downing Students’. Being a bit of an atheist, Sleuth finds the theology students hardest to swallow

A sign of things to come?

Spotted this week wrapping a building in Spinningfields, this might be the most pointless sign Sleuth has ever seen, or is it a sign of things to come?