Miller & Carter Reviewed

STEAK HOUSES have come on a bit since Gordo was a lad.

Every Friday night he was treated to a prawn cocktail, with brown bread and butter; the marie rose sauce drove him mad. Then it'd be a fried chicken and chips, a whole half, so to speak. Then Black Forest gateau with loads of cream. Life was sweet indeed.

What worries Gordo is that walk-in tourists, the only hope it has of staying in business because of its great location, will leave Manchester thinking we are a bunch of numpties

The steak houses were called Berni Inns. The Italian red wine was served in short, squat bottles wrapped in raffia and Gordo's mum, Maureen, would polish of a bottle of Mateus Rose and get a bit frisky. Though young Fatty didn't realise what was happening, tucked up in bed as he was. He just assumed the exercise bike was getting a battering.

Lovely building on King Street

Today, Manchester has steak houses which really blow your mind; starting with Gaucho grill and their Argentinian wet aged beef, the Restaurant Bar and Grill, with their own herds of cattle, abattoirs and guest breeds. Moving on to Sam's, Tom's and Albert's Chop Houses, acquiring more pedigree over eight years than you can shake a stick at. There's also the Grills on the Alley and New York Street. Let’s not forget the King of the lot, Malmaison’s Smoak, with Frost the Butchers beef dry-aging before your very eyes. 

Anyone thinking of opening another steak house in the city had better know their stuff.

Thus, it has been a curious Gordo who has watched the setting up of an updated Bernie Inn called Miller & Carter, owned by mega caterer, Mitchell & Butlers. It’s in the old Lloyds bank on the corner of King and Cross Street. 

Gordo called in to have a look at the fit-out and a quick drink at the bar. It looks and feels quality, with a bar stool that took his ample bum with no problems. The Guinness wasn't the best, pouring water for the first five pints, but got there in the end. This was only a few days after opening. 

The atmosphere is old school ‘grill room’, lots of leather and space. There is a nice trick of having three separate dining areas on three separate levels that make the place feel full, even if it’s only a third occupied. Good carpets soak up the conversation and music is where it should be, in the background. 

The kitchen is open to the middle area, adding tempting aromas to the place.

Inside Miller & Carter

Returning a few days later as a walk-in to try out the food, Gordo spotted a bold claim on the A-board outside.

'The Best Steak in Town'.

Now, this was going to be a right old treat if it's better than its neighbours. Walking in with Gordo's companion Scottie, the odd-couple were given a good welcome and allowed to choose their own table. A table for four, but Gordo always orders plenty.

They started with the sharing platter; bourbon glazed pork belly bites, barbecue chicken wings, dusted calamari, crispy onion loaf, nachos, spinach and mozzarella dip and toasted ciabatta bread (£12.95).

Gordo had noted that the crispy onion loaf was ‘famous’, as in ‘our famous onion loaf’ described on the menu.

When the platter arrived it looked, well, OK. Tucking in, it was clear that someone was taking the piss. Famous? What for? Not being crispy? Being bland, floury and sticky? The pork belly bites were, err, fine; but had no crispy skin and a bit of a dodgy jellyness going on. Stuff like this needs to be bang on in a city boasting Almost Famous and Solita, the kings of flavour riddled mega food. The wings were OK; the mozzarella dip was slimy foulness. The crispy dusted calamari were great. The nachos were simply wrong. Dead wrong.

Pity platter

Moving on to the main act came the steak, chosen from ‘The Miller & Carter Steak Experience’. 

The T-Bone, 14oz, (£22.95), ‘is recommended at least medium rare to intensify the flavour’ says the menu copywriter, who clearly has not spent much time with either the chefs, a meat buyer, or, like Gordo, a master butcher. That advice is just sheer Mad Men nonsense and deeply patronising. Try telling Gordo’s daughter to take her steak anything but blue and you’ll get a slap.  

Steak with advice

It came with a baked spud and a quarter of iceberg lettuce with dressing with sides of mac and cheese (£3.50) and a grilled half lobster tail with garlic and herb butter (£5.75). 

The T-Bone was weirdly small; taking away the weight of the bone, it’s more like 10oz of a fillet and sirloin steak. Which makes for a 7oz sirloin and a 3oz fillet. The flavour was closer to rose veal, that meat from no-mans land that people are promoting a little too much in Gordo’s opinion. This was the first time ever that Gordo has left half the steak on his plate. 

Oh, and the béarnaise sauce was split. The replacement was out of a jar.

Lettuce monster

The mac and cheese was poor; very yellow and boring. The baked potato was good but the sour cream had no personality. The lettuce wedge came with a dressing that Gordo simply cannot remember.  

Mac & cheese

The lobster tale was OK, but another midget. Roughly about the size of Gordo’s thumb. Well, what did Fatty expect for a fiver? That size is slightly worrying though, aren’t there rules about the sizes we're allowed to catch to allow lobbies to reach maturity?  

The lost lobster tale

The 8oz rump (£13.95) ‘recommended medium rare’, across the table came with similar sides. The bordelaise sauce was simply nasty, and left on the plate. The steak, according to the Scottish companion was “poor, very poor’’.

Rumpy pumpy poverty

Pudding was bussed in from somewhere, but didn’t do too much harm to be fair. Indeed the crème brulee (£4.75) was actually very good and could be even better if the chefs left it alone. A sprig of wilted mint and a poor, weeping strawberry didn’t do it many favours. The lemon meringue (£5.50) was blameless.  

Creme brulee ok

When you see a menu that talks about ‘finest cuts for our expert chefs to grill, using our own specialist techniques’ where the biscuit is ‘home made’ and so is the meringue, you are witnessing a menu written for style by people with no substance. And who treat the diner as a plonker. 

If you, dear reader, want the arse patronised off you by a brand that is clearly not fit to be within 150 yards of five of the best meat restaurants in the North West, and told how to have your steak cooked, then this is the place for you. 

No self-respecting Mancunian will come here twice; what worries Gordo is that walk-in tourists, the only hope it has of staying in business because of its great location, will leave Manchester thinking we are a bunch of numpties if this is the best steak in the city. 

Miller & Carter is all fur coat and no knickers. 

If you want to see what we believed to be the ten best steaks in Manchester, then click here. Although this needs updating – come on editor give us a timescale. 

You can follow Gordo on Twitter here @gordomanchester

ALL SCORED CONFIDENTIAL REVIEWS ARE IMPARTIAL AND PAID FOR BY THE MAGAZINE. 

Miller & Carter, King Street, Manchester, M2 4LQ. 0161 839 2846 

Rating: 13/20 (please read the scoring system in the box below, venues are rated against the best examples of their kind) 

Food:  5/10 (sharing platter 4, T-bone 5, rump 5, mac & cheese 4, lobster tail 6, crème brulee 7, other pudd 6)
Service: 4/5
Ambience: 4/5