It's time for his annual grumble - does he have a point though?
So, Christmas Markets in the town square: chestnuts roasting on crackling braziers, mulled hot wine brewed with care in large stockpots fresh every day; snow falling, cold ears and hot sausages. Beer flows freely from the local brewers whilst people tumble out of shops laden with presents on Xmas eve, carol singers and good cheer all round.
If Jesus visited, he’d weep. It’s the worst form of capitalism delivered by a council that should know better.
Or, starting in mid-November, tat stalls spreading across a city centre like a particularly nasty rash filled with junk bought in container loads for pennies selling for pounds, baubles that disintegrate before you get home, cheeses wrapped in weird plastic-like substances printed with union jacks that declare themselves as every different variety, but all taste the same; at prices twice that of the local cheesemonger in the suburbs who take pride in their selection.
Pizza slices that are chosen cold on a slab, re-warmed, various lukewarm fried chicken dishes. Roasted pork sandwiches that are steamed, tasteless with no crackling and apple sauce bought in large buckets at Costco.
"German Sausages" that arrive in containers from lord knows where, tasteless and a bit… watery? Served with abominations as buns.
The utter banality of it all is depressing. The outrageous piss-taking of the public, coupled with the eye-watering prices, is infuriating.
If Jesus visited, he’d weep. It’s the worst form of capitalism delivered by a council that should know better.
And don’t get me started on that fucking Santa. He’s a dick.
Cold, wet and miserable is the reality. Twenty years or so later, our Xmas markets in Manchester have become an utter disgrace. I am ashamed of them.
We are in the middle of a city region with a hospitality industry that now delivers world-class experiences with countless different cuisines delivered with class at prices that are keen.
The Xmas markets deliver 17, second-rate pick and mix sweet stalls at prices that are horrific.
Bah humbug?
No, I’m a Manc not a mug™.
An indie Xmas. Here are just some of the independent bars and restaurants we recommend you visit as well as/instead of the markets
Near Piccadilly Gardens:
Afflecks 52 Church St, Manchester M4 1PW
Beatnikz 35 Dale St, Manchester M1 2HF
Bundobust 61 Piccadilly, Manchester M1 2AG
Chapter One Chatsworth House, 23 Lever St, Manchester M1 1BY
Dusk Til Pawn Stevenson Square, Manchester M1 1DN
Evuna 79 Thomas St, Manchester M4 1LQ
Foundation Coffee 11 Portland St, Manchester M1 3HU
Go Falafel 3 Newton St, Manchester M1 1HW
Herd NQ 24 Dale St, Manchester M1 1FY
Idle Hands Coffee 35 Dale St, Manchester M1 2HF
Mala 19 Lever St, Manchester M1 1BY
Near Market Street
The Arndale Market (one of the best places for cheap, good food in Manchester) 49 High St, Manchester M4 3AH
The Bull & Bear 4 Norfolk St, Manchester M2 1DW
Habas 43A Brown St, Manchester M2 2JJ
Rosso 43 Spring Gardens, Manchester M2 2BG
Salut 11 Cooper St, Manchester M2 2FW
Near Exchange Square
Sadler's Cat Hanover St, Manchester M60 0AB
Salvi's 1 The Corn Exchange, Corporation St, Manchester M4 3TR
Sinclair's Oyster Bar 2 Cathedral Gates, Manchester M3 1SW
Sixes Cathedral St, Manchester M4 3TR
Near St Ann's Square
Annie's 5 Old Bank St, Manchester M2 7PE
Corbiere's Alliance House, 2 Half Moon St, Manchester M2 7PB
Mr Thomas's Chophouse 52 Cross St, Manchester M2 7AR
Pot Kettle Black Barton Arcade, Manchester M3 2BW
Sandinista City Centre, 2 Old Bank St, Manchester M2 7PF
Salt Dog Slim's 17 Bow Ln, Manchester M2 4FW
Wright's Chippy 86 Cross St, Greater, Manchester M2 4LA
Near King Street
Crazy Pedro's 55-57 Bridge St, Manchester M3 3BQ
El Gato Negro 52 King St, Manchester M2 4LY
Factory Coffee 38 King St W, Manchester M3 2WZ
Federal 194 Deansgate, Manchester M3 3ND
Kala 55 King St, Manchester M2 4LQ
Masons Ground Floor, Manchester Hall, 36 Bridge St, Manchester M3 3BT
San Carlo 40-42 King St W, Manchester M3 2WY
Speak In Code 7 Jackson's Row, Manchester M2 5ND
Tast 20-22 King St, Manchester M2 6AG
Tipples of Manchester 16 Lloyd St, Manchester M2 5ND
You could also visit one of the other Manchester Christmas Markets
Read next: Bar Rumbug, The Salford Rum Company launches Christmas pop-up
Read again: Top things to do in Manchester for December, Xmas and New Year 2021
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