The Patron offers craft beer, sharing plates and windows

Stand around in Northern Quarter for long enough and someone will ram two bottles of craft beer up your nostrils. Continue to stand there and someone may suggest you share a 'small plate' of food, something with pomegranate seeds. Stand there longer still and there's a good chance someone will staple a poster to your back advertising some club night with some 50-something bloke who once threw up in the DJ booth at the Hacienda.

But who's got the time for that? 

Alternatively, head to Stevenson Square from the 16th November where you'll find The Patron; a new bar, opening in Northern Quarter, serving craft beer, cocktails, small/large/seasonal/sharing plates in a room with 'modern smart new glazing running the length of either side'... that's windows to you and me.

Inside this 'new modern take on a Great British boozer' (aka 'bar'), you'll find doors, stools, napkins and a garden courtyard (which is in no way 'hidden' because we're telling you it's there) with a 'real live twelve foot tree' - not a dead ten foot one.

Situated on the corner with Oldham Street, the opening of The Patron marks the end of £1 million (oh aye) renovation work on the 'iconic' (in what way?) Hilton Chambers hostel.

Former Hacienda DJ (here we go) Graeme Park will play the VIP launch party, where a bunch of freeloaders will neck complimentary Prosecco, do blow in the bogs, talk shit and bugger off into the night, never to return or, god forbid, spend a penny of their own money.

And here's how the bar will look in Uninspiring CGI Land... see you there (or through those smart modern glazed things running down either side of the building).

2017 10 31 The Patron