REVIEW | Manchester Smokehouse & Cellar

THE CZECHS are invading Manchester. You can find their tanks everywhere. There's some in Cottonopolis and there's several in Albert's Schloss and now there's some in Manchester Smokehouse. Pilsner Urquell beer battalions from Mitteleuropa are on patrol. 

My lord, my lord, you've done it, the monster is alive, you have reanimated death

Fashion's a funny thing and the faddish collection of brass coloured beer tanks is just about right on the button for corporate bar design of 2016. Certainly the tanks in Manchester Smokehouse add a powerful presence to this new basement restaurant and bar on Lloyd Street. Indeed the whole interior design is vigorous with brick and wood and shiny metal. It's handsome, well done and very like Albert's Schloss but with the addition of a big load of smoking kit and what-have-you on view at the rear. 

The concept, though, seems a bit behind the trend. Red's True BBQ up the road opened more than two years ago when the furore about these barbecue style places peaked. And doesn't the name 'Manchester Smokehouse' imply something more Northern English? I was genuinely interested when I walked by and glanced at the name wondering what I might find; richly glazed smoked ham hocks perhaps, lush River Lune eels with that tang and kick of the smoker?

 

The Big Smoke

No, not that. The Manchester being referred to is clearly not the Manchester in the UK but one of those fifty plus Manchesters in the USA. We're talking Americana meatfest. Thus the menu busts its chunky yankee shirt buttons with items such as Pitmaster Meat Stack, and Texas Sliced Brisket with Burned Ends. God knows, I love my meat stacked and my end being burnt.

The good news if you want to hoover up all the delights in one go you can dive into The Big Smoke (£38 for two). This includes the aforementioned brisket and burned ends plus half a chicken, pulled pork, baby back ribs, 'hot links', fries, pickles, slaw, pit beans, the State of North Carolina and a kitchen sink. It's a beast of a thing and generally very good.

The brisket had been rubbed with salt, pepper and garlic and was the best thing on the platter, rangy with flavour and with excellent texture too. The ribs with their full-on bbq sauce gave the brisket a run for its money while the pulled pork was all right. Then again I never get the attraction of pulled pork resembling as it does the stuff you find in a blocked bath pipe. Slaw, good, pickles fine, fries fine, but another big hit were the excellent pit beans. Even the pork was enhanced by the musty moisture and depth of flavour in that little bean pot. The half chicken was a dud, rubbery, overcooked. 

The marshmallow tarpit

A banana and custard marshmallow creation for £4.95 was like fighting your way out of a tarpit. The word sticky doesn't do it justice. This is not to say it wasn't in its gratuitously sweet way enjoyable. I liked it with its toffee sauce and its chewy marshmallows although my dining partner didn't care for it at all.

Still, it led to a discussion as to the origin of marshmallows and whether they had come about during some early nineteenth century Frankenstein experiment in a castle cellar with cables and electric clamps and bubbling burettes, retorts and evaporating dishes. 

"My lord, my lord, you've done it, the monster is alive, you have reanimated death...and...er...you've also created this sticky white cuboid substance that...er...tastes not bad, probably better toasted."

The service in Manchester Smokehouse was pleasant and sharp. The overall experience was pleasant as well. Since I'm determined not to dive into this style of food more than once a year then this visit did the trick in serving as my 2016 experience. 

There's a lot of commitment here to getting the mac'n'cheese, the 'jerkin' about' burgers and so forth right. There's care in the design of the room too. That's all admirable. I just hope for Manchester Smokehouse and Cellar there's still mass-appeal in this type of genre food after all the hype over the last five years. Meanwhile keep your eyes peeled, the Czech tanks will no doubt be rolling into a bar near to you very soon.  

Manchester Smokehouse & Cellar, 18/22 Lloyd Street. Manchester M2 5WA