REVIEW | Chez Nous, Sale

IF I lived in Sale I'd build myself a tower so I could get a view.

If there is a more petty bourgeois name than Chez Nous let me know

Of flat, flatter, flattest, Sale is the superlative. Along with Timperley these are the only places in Greater Manchester where you can put a spirit level on the ground and the bubble ends up in the middle. There are hills but these turn out to be bridges over the dead straight Bridgewater Canal and the dead straight Metrolink line.

Born 600ft up on the Pennines and at the risk of repeating myself, if I lived in Sale I'd build myself a tower. I'd want to see out. Not that this Brooklands area of Sale isn't pleasant enough with its substantial semis and detached houses on streets which must make the description 'leafy' irresistable to every estate agent.

There is one undeniable attraction. This is the gorgeous and bijou Walkden Gardens. This delightful place is a labour of love by volunteers supporting Trafford Council and provide the only reason for non-locals to linger. In every season the gardens are beautiful, summer is best, but with the leaf colours this year, maybe give them a blast over the weekend. 

Walkden Gardens in summer  

Fake books in winter

Chez Nous is bijou too, and only a few good strong boule rolls from Walkden Gardens. It occupies a former shop unit and has a surprisingly plush interior complete with a handsome bar and a feature leather booth area that isn't quite a booth. There are black and white photos of Olde Sale on the wall and fake book wallpaper.

I bloody hate fake book wallpaper. The nasty fakery needs to be covered up like an embarrassing stain, maybe hidden behind some real books people could actually read. Does any other country in Europe sell fake book wallpaper? As with magnolia paint, it illustrates the fear of many Brits in revealing anything of their inner selves. A person's choice of books shows exactly who they really are and what they think. Heaven Forfend! we do that in this country, especially in flattest Sale.

"Dad, do you ever think you think too much about not very important things?" asked my sixteen-year-old son when I'd stopped ranting.

"Yes," I admitted.

Scallops with cauliflower puree and crispy bacon

Perfectly fine steak and chips

I was a tad annoyed about the menu too. The name of the restaurant suggested an outpost of French cuisine, but the menu is old-fashioned British.

The starter of beetroot cured gravadlax with a ‘hot smoked’ salmon nicoise salad (£7.95, main image) was riotously colourful and with all the elements bunched on a fork, beetroot, cheese leaves and drizzle, a flavoursome beginning to the meal. A Stilton and broccoli soup at £4.75 with bread and butter had good heft but needed more seasoning. The scallops (£8.95) with a cauliflower puree and crispy bacon was entertaining enough with the scallops the correct texture and puree adding depth. Good use of a chilli there too.

Pork and mash was as heavy as bricks

Lamb cannon

Mains were a cut above pub fare but not much. The chips with the steak were stodgy, the mash with the pork fillet was as heavy as bricks. Lighten the latter up please, Chez Nous, make it fluffy like a buttery cloud, give it wings. The steak itself, an 8oz sirloin (£19.95) was 24-day-aged and cooked medium rare as requested. The £14.50 pork fillet medallions with Dijonnaise sauce and seasonal vegetables suffered from the aforementioned mash and tough-as-old-boots pork but was improved by a decent Dijonnaise and vegetables that were cooked to bitey perfection.

A cannon of lamb (£18.90), aka the loin, came with enough green beans to make a raft for a Barbie doll, but a workable rosemary sauce lifted the dish. The dauphinoise potatoes did a turn too, unlike their Chez Nous chipped and mashed brethren.

The Bailey's cheesecake at £6 was a star, homemade and perhaps the best thing we ate all evening. Light as a feather, chocker with flavour yet not overwhelmed by the Bailey's, nice fruit too and looking a picture. Almost as good was the chocolate and raspberry fondant with pistachio ice cream (£6), which again looked the part, but maybe lacked the dynamism and verve of the cheesecake.

A bottle of Listening Station unoaked Chardonnay from Aussieland cost £20 and was good value but otherwise I can't remember a thing about it.

Bailey's cheesecake

Chocolate and raspberry fondant with pistachio ice cream

Overall Chez Nous matches all expectations - but a big thanks to the excellent waiter who exceeded them. It is pleasant and suburban in a pleasant and suburban area. It's old-fashioned, but looking at many of the diners that seems to be what they want. Stepping inside is like stepping inside an episode of The Good Life from the 1970s, comforting and occasionally entertaining.

The restaurant name sums everything up. If there is a more petty bourgeois name than Chez Nous let me know; a French expression turned twee on British tongues meaning 'Our Place' and the title of ten thousand suburban semis. Perfect for Sale in otherwords. 

Curiously, 'Chez Nous' is also the name of the 1967 Eurovision Song Contest entry from France. It was performed by Dominique Walter and features a man singing out of tune supported by a woman's spectral voice. You can listen to it here but it's crap so I suggest you don't. Ever. It got one point and should have received none.

Chez Nous in Sale is better than that, it gets six points for the food because it serves its locals well, but that doesn't mean you'd want to seek the restaurant out from beyond Sale, unless you're hungry and have come down to see Walkden Gardens. 

Chez Nous, 179 Marsland Road, Sale, M33 3ND. Tel: 0161 969 1172