Randy's Hardcore Hamburgers has opened on Nicholas Croft​

What appears to be a spot on parody of a burger restaurant from 2013 has just opened in Northern Quarter.

Here, just down from Shudehill, you'll find dishes so 'dirty' you'll want to dunk your face in quicklime, burgers so 'stacked' they could probably Arnold Press a water buffalo, and marketing so risque you'll wonder how they haven't been locked up... I mean, porno-themed burgers with Monster Munch and hardcore sauce? Genius. Honestly, it's like the last five years never even happened.

It's called Randy's Hardcore Hamburgers and has opened in Basil Chambers on Nicholas Croft, the spot occupied until recently by Infamous Diner, which also mainly served burgers (Infamous Diner was liquidated last week because no one wanted their burgers, but why should that matter?).

Want to work here? Well, 'banter is essential' (it says so on a Facebook job ad). Got the munchies? Good, here's a burger with spliff papers and a grinder. Born without a penis? Lovely, they need more of your lot, and they have Prosecco (see below) - which everyone knows is like crack to none penis people.

You can spot Randy's by looking for the big STOP sign outside - which may turn out to be sound advice. Find out more here.

2018 10 20 Randys Burgers Img 7819
Stop me, oh, stop me... no please do.
Randys Hardcore Hamburger
Got the munchies?
Randys Hamburgers
All girls like Prosecco. Fact
Randys Burgers
Monster Munchies?
2018 10 20 Randys Burgers Img 0422
Porn-themed burgers are well bantz