Council issues set of rules for Manchester city centre's newest neighbourhood

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city each week. It's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. Sometimes Sleuth even gets serious, but not often... @mcrsleuth

Sleuth has learnt that the council are to issue a second Code of Conduct for Manchester city centre, this time for First Street, following widespread uptake of the new rules for Market Street.

1. Agree that HOME is a good name for an arts centre and not confusing at all. Repeat that sentence until you’ve convinced yourself it’s right. 

2. HOME has five cinemas, two theatres, a gallery, a shop, a restaurant and bar in which to get culturally drunk. When drinking at HOME make sure you have learnt a thing or two about a couple of obscure Korean film directors and you might end up getting laid.

3. Demonstrate proper progressive left wing politics (a declaration of devotion to feminism is a good start) at HOME and you will get laid. Possibly twice. By different people. Of both genders.

Home Launch 47
Left wing politics will get you laid at HOME

4. Wear trousers on your left leg and a skirt on your right side in HOME and hey presto! You can now use the transgender toilet that nobody else uses.

5. Say loudly that Bunny Jackson’s Juke Joint on Jack Rosenthal Street is not so-called because it means the bar can put up a large neon sign that simply reads 'BJs' - BJs does not mean blow jobs, it means Bunny Jackson’s.

6. Do not laugh when you realise that BJs is preceded by WOOD - the debut restaurant from Masterchef winner Simon Wood.

171115 Bunny Jacksons 2 Lyndon Higginson171115 Bunny Jacksons 2 Img 4940
Bunny Jackson's is not just a reason to shout 'I love BJs'

7. Make sure you bring a proper camera to First Street and start taking pictures while timing how long it takes security guards to approach and tell you to stop.

8. Tell visitors the statue outside HOME is not that of the communist Friedrich Engels, but music impresario Tony Wilson, otherwise why would it be in Tony Wilson Square?

9. Don't laugh that a statue of one of the founding fathers of Communism and author of The Condition of the Working Class in England has been erected between a champagne bar and a Pizza Express - a huge restaurant chain that once skimmed 8% of its staff's tips.

Engels Outside Homeimg 1946 Copy
Friedrich Engels is not Tony Wilson

10. Remember to always go independent. First Street is a fine development full of unique operators such as Sainsbury’s, Starbucks and Pizza Express.

11. When playing a round of Junkyard Golf, do not arrive at the Delboy-style Robin Reliant and shout 'This time next year Rodney, we'll be millionaires!' - everyone in there is too young to know what you're talking about and will think you're odd and old.

12. Never go into the Gazprom canteen and ask “What’s your poison?”

Junkyard Golf Del Boy
'This time next year Rodney...'