THE BURRITO is just about the perfect lunch.
It's just that the tortilla wrap, vital in holding the whole operation together, had the durability of dairylea chucked into Mount Doom.
All the business wedged into once handy meal torpedo. No tarting around. No chasing food across the plate, no manoeuvring to slice, no forking stuff. That’s not what lunch is about. Lunch is the lift and cram, the up and in.
I’d have all of my meals in burrito form if etiquette would allow it. Here are three meals off the bat that would be a damn site better rammed into a tortilla wrap:
Fish, chips and mushy peas, a Sunday Roast, a full English breakfast.
Tell me they wouldn’t. Every one of those meals eats good time trying to get every part of the dish onto one fork. Why bother? Roll it up.
And think of the time we’d save. Recent statistics state that we spend around half an hour masticating a day. That’s three and a half hours a week, seven and a half days a year stuffing your face.
You can throw down a burrito in five minutes. Assuming it doesn’t fall apart like the Brazilian defence lining up against a Teutonic assault. But we’ll get to that.
The burrito is just common sense. Just think of all the time we’d save. I could finally decipher the Rongorongo, finish Zelda, become the sixth member of One Direction.
Changos and one of Kings of Leon
So when I was asked to go and review Changos Burrito as part of our new Cheap Eats series (cheap, quick and cheerful grub for around a fiver), I was on it like a hyena on a limping zebra.
Being a true believer in the ‘little donkey’, I’ve had my fair share. Which either makes me a burrito connoisseur or a glutton. I’d say both.
Bar Burrito, Pancho’s, Luck Lust Liquor and Burn, I’ve been through them all, many times over. Changos though I've never reached, being neither a student, a commuter nor a beggar I don't spend a great deal of time around Oxford Road unless I'm feigning cultural stock at Cornerhouse or falling out of Gorilla with a shoe on my head.
It's a wonder Changos hasn't yet drawn me in. You can smell it from St Peter's Square, the rambunctious Mariachi music you can hear from Wigan. It's not rare to see lunchtime queues winding out the door at this gaff, the tucker must be pukka.
And it was. Or at least, it could have been. A burst burrito is a disaster. The sides had split before sitting down. I wept.
Knife and fork sadness
Which is a shame because the constituent parts were cracking. The chilli beef sweet and robust, the beans hearty and sour cream calming. The rice was rice and the cheese was cheese.
The oak smoked chipotle sauce deserves a mention, deep and rich in flavour, as do the nachos crumbled into the fray. I've never seen this done before but from henceforth shall demand their presence in every burrito like a princess. The crunch among the crud is a touch of genius.
The service too was bob-on, and making the additional elements like guacamole, jalapenos and cheese free shames places like Bar Burrito that charge for these obviously necessary extras. That's always got my goat.
Still, I can't move past the exploded burrito. The reason I adore them so is because it's all wrapped up in there ready for the slaughter. This was all over the tray, between my fingers and down my chin. And eating a burrito with a knife and fork is like having sex with a wardrobe. It makes absolutely no sense at all.
But the burst was unlucky. I'll be back. And next time I'm double bagging it.
Follow David8Blake
ALL OUR SCORED FOOD REVIEWS ARE IMPARTIAL AND PAID FOR BY MANCHESTER CONFIDENTIAL. REVIEW VISITS ARE UNANNOUNCED AND COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT OF ANY COMMERCIAL RELATIONSHIP.
Changos Burrito Bar, 91-93 Oxford Street, M1 6ET. 0161 228 2182
Large Burrito £5.50
Food: 6.5/10. Tasty but explosive, would have been 7.5 without the burst wrap
Service: 3/5. Chirpy
Ambience: 3/5. Loud
Changos
It's going...
