IT's the funniest thing in catering for many a long year.
Juicy, this was ladies and gents. A fantastic fandango of flavours flooding the palate at each hearty bite.
The beastly big beast that is Diageo, drinks giant extraordinaire, squashing an independent but spunky brew-bar.
At last week's British Institute of Innkeeping (BII) Awards in Scotland, the sponsors Diageo (Guinness, Smirnoff and so on) spotted that the indie chain, BrewDog, was about to win Bar Operator of the Year.
So the asinine fools that were representing Diageo that evening bullied the equally asinine organisers to give it to a more appropriate chain - one that stocks Diageo products.
Later when the truth came out, the BII Scotland Chairman, Kenny Mitchell said: "We are all ashamed and embarrassed about what happened."
What a weak fella.
Diageo apologised too and said: "There was a serious misjudgement by (our) staff. This does not reflect in any way on Diageo's corporate values and behaviour."
The happy result - the funny bit - is that BrewDog gained far more promotional value than merely being handed a pappy gong.
Manchester's recently opened BrewDog bar on Peter Street is far from the Scottish group's homeland. Still, maybe a little of the reflected glow from the scandal will help boost custom.
On a couple of recent visits it certainly appears to be settling in nicely.
On a street once famous for vast barns filled with the inebriated classes battling furiously, BrewDog delivers craft and guile.
The 5am beer
And overwhelming self-confidence.
As noted in one of our Sleuth columns last year the label for their ‘5am Slam’ beer reads like this. 'You probably don’t know about beer. You don’t understand beer. You don’t know what good beer is or how truly pathetic mass-market beers are. This is condemningly ironic considering how much beer we drink in the UK.
'Would you apply the same lack of care, knowledge and passion in other areas of your life? What does this say about you? Maybe you want to define yourself with bland, tasteless lowest common denominator beer. We won’t have any part of it.
‘It’s not all your fault. Constrained by lack of choice. Seduced by the monolithic brewers huge advertising budgets. Brain-washed by vindictive lies perpetrated with the veracity of pseudo-propaganda. You can’t help being sucked down the rabbit hole. The UK beer scene is sick. And we are the doctor.’
Sometimes this attitude grates.
The term 'punk-brewery' that's been applied to BrewDog makes me vomit, but you have to admire the verve with which the BrewDogs proclaim loud and proud 'In Hops We Trust'. They are obviously very committed.
They also do some of the best bar food around.
Scrumptious madam
The Whitechapel burger I had one lunchtime cost £5.95 and was almost as good as the Almost Famous Burgers I eulogised a month or so ago. That is some achievement.
Juicy, this burger was ladies and gents. A fantastic fandango of flavours flooding the palate at each hearty bite. The Whitechapel is 'an ode to the Bangla/British flavors (sic) of London', It has lush curry-coated beef, capped by Keen's Cheddar cheese, chutney, onions and a really beautiful cucumber and mint coolant for the very evident heat. Go get one.
They should add a quid to the price though and bring out some fries and sauces with the lovely thing.
Full-on and hot
The pizzas are just as good. The Santa Ana at £9.95 has a pizza-base that a Neapolitan dough basher would swoon over. It's another hot bugger too. There are pickled jalapenos, sweet corn, chillies, chorizo, avocado, and even more hot stuff in the cumin heavy sauce. It broke in the mouth wonderfully and was enough for two. This was a controlled atomic bomb of a pizza, flavoursome but explosive.
There's a choice of three pizzas and three burgers by the way, plus grazing platters for groups.
There's also a pinball machine, smug/clever notices on the walls, books about beer, and a very very basic, shack-in-the-Australian-outback appearance.
It's great for the youngsters but for a man in his forties a little tough. The stools for the central high tables are low even for someone who's 6ft 1". Meanwhile the brick wall outside is laughable and should never have received planning permission.
Pinball machine - what a fine thing
But the food is very good as the pictures on this page illustrate.
The beer that defines BrewDog is good too. We washed our food down with a '5am' and a 'Punk'. Both excellent, both too aggressively hoppy.
Despite Brewdog's boasts there are better micro-breweries in Greater Manchester producing more subtle and complex beers than BrewDog. Innocent Smoothie style marketing can't mask that.
We're going to do another article in the coming weeks examining more minutely the strengths and weaknesses of the nearly men of the British Institute of Innkeeping Scotland, Bar Operator of the Year Award.
All in all though BrewDog is a most welcome addition to the city scene. If you like to experience something fresh and novel give it a whirl.
I'm just slightly worried it's just a bit too close for comfort to the Confidential office.
You can follow Jonathan Schofield on Twitter here @JonathSchofield
ALL SCORED CONFIDENTIAL REVIEWS ARE IMPARTIAL AND PAID FOR BY THE MAGAZINE.
BrewDog, 35 Peter Street, City centre.
Rating: 15.5/20 (please read the scoring system in the box below)
Food: 8/10
Service: 4/5
Ambience: 3/5
Bar
Un-wonder wall
Hops for smelling
The bottled stuff
Exact representations of the staff
Inside out
