AS of now a sea of red paper hearts are starting to fill Manchester’s high streets. Lingerie stores and their buzzing, whirring 'toys' are all set with double AA batteries, restaurants are prepping for the influx of infatuated couples wanting window seats and petrol stations are stocking cards and wilting flowers for those who have left it to the last minute.

February is here, Valentine’s Day is coming and you can’t avoid it even if you try. 

So, whether you're set to splurge this year or actively trying to stay away from everything crimson, take your lover's hand (or not) and follow the rose petals (or not) to one of these V-Day events.

Love-ActuallyIf you're gonna do it, do it right. 

 
The Classy One @ The Bridgewater Hall, The Hallé Valentine’s Day Concert, 7.30pm
 
It was England’s greatest composer, Henry Purcell, that once famously wrote: ‘If music be the food of love, then scoff on this you loved up porker.’ Magnificent. And all true of course.
Manchester’s citadel of high-brow, The Bridgewater Hall is putting on an evening of romantic scores from films, operas and musicals from the world over.
Conducted by Stephen Bell, Natasha Marsh as soprano and tenor James Edwards (Jedward to his pals), the night includes numbers from Elgar, Puccini, Prokofiev, Bernstein, Rodgers and Hammerstein and Gershwin. Oh, and one from Slayer. Perhaps.
 

Manchester-Events-Bridgewater-HallBridgewater Hall 

The Stayover One @ Malentines, Malmaison, Piccadilly
 
Malentines? What’s that? Ah see what they’ve done there. Clever buggers. So much scope here: Measter, Mirthdays, Malloween, Mank Holidays. Let’s hope Warner Hotels don’t do the latter. Nobody wants a w**k Holiday.
 
There are a few options here from ‘The Mal’.
Valentine’s dinner menu (available 13-16 Feb) from £49pp including smoked haddock, oysters, salmon, steak and camembert, the Sunday night bedroom offer with a £25 room rate when two guests dine from the Valentine’s menu or you can pull out all the stops with the Ultimate Malentine Package: room, welcome cocktails, four course Valentine’s menu and full breakfast from £207. Monderful.
 
More info on Malentines here.

Malmaison McrMalmaison Mcr

The Foodie One @ San Carlo Bottega, Selfridges, Exchange Square

The dinner date. It's the Valentine's failsafe. 

While a M&S two-for-one deal has allure, we feel San Carlo Bottega's A La Carte menu will provide a fair few aphrodisiacs on your Valentine's evening. 

The restaurant has called on San Carlo Group’s star Chef Consiliere, Aldo Zilli, to create a dish which will seduce the senses on Valentine's Day such as champagne and butter langoustines - the classic bubbles and shellfish, always a sexy option.  

Italians are romantic and passionate by default (or so they keep telling us) and their food is no different. Thus Bottega has extended their opening hours, for one night only, to 10pm, as romance just can't be rushed.

Do you hear that gentlemen? Not rushed. You won't be back in time for last orders with your mates in the local.

Reservations for Valentine dining at bottega are recommended. To book please call 0161 838 0571. All San Carlo locations and reservation details can be found at www.sancarlo.co.uk

Sancarlobottega-1200X800San Carlo Bottega

The Sticky One: Duerr's Aphrodisiac Jam, online or in shops

Manchester company Duerr’s are claiming they’ve produced the world’s only Aphrodisiac jam, made with strawberries, Champagne and a sprinkling of ground horny goatweed, the ‘natural Viagra’. Apparently ground horny (yes that word is an official one) goat weed is a natural male sexual stimulant. According to legend, this was discovered by a Chinese goatherd who noticed sexual activity in his flock after they ate the weed. And after he ate it thought his beasts were looking very attractive. Gordo, Manchester Confidential’s horny old goat, has promised to try some of the jam should be find an attractive goatherdess by Valentine’s Night. Duerr’s serving suggestions include breakfast in bed and a 45-minute ‘lie-in’ - or baking it into treats like jam tarts to add 'extra fizz to an afternoon treat'. Of course with this sort of thing its bound to end in a sticky mess. 

Duerr’s Aphrodisiac Jam is available online here for £4.99

It'll really take your lid offIt'll really take your lid off


The Singles One @ Artisan, The Avenue North, Spinningfields

If you’re single and the option of staying at home and eating an entire Tesco’s Own cheesecake to yourself reminds you of the Great Expectations spinster, Miss Havisham, then the other option is throwing on something lucky, splashing on a good au du toilette, going out and betting your chances with other singles.

Artisan are dedicating the 14th to singletons with a ‘singles soiree’. DJ Hollywood Dave will be there providing the tunage and the cocktails will be overflowing.

To reserve your place contact manchesterbdm@artisan.uk.com

Artisan1Artisan

The Godly One @ Manchester Cathedral 

Taking a loved one to a cathedral on Valentine's Day may prompt the assumption that you're thinking of marriage.

Still, Bishop David Walker is welcoming couples to Manchester Cathedral for prosecco and a prayer this Valentine’s Day.

If you fancy a little heavenly intervention in your relationship, from 7pm there will be a 30 minute celebration with hymns, and an opportunity for Valentines to reaffirm their commitment in love to each other. Couples are invited to come along and offer their relationship anew to God before they go out and enjoy the rest of their evening together, spreading aphrodisiac jam and themselves all over the place.

Manchester Cathedral

Manchester Cathedral

The Clubbing One @  Sankeys

If dancing your troubles away at Manchester’s clubbing Mecca is more your scene this Valentine’s then Sankeys is the place to be. The boldly titled ‘music is love’ night will see DJ sets from the likes of Point G, Chez Damier, Marquis Hawkes and DJ Deep.

If you manage to find romance whilst dancing around and being a sweaty mess in the crowds, then you know it’s true love.
Tickets are £15 and doors open at 10:30pm.

For more information and to buy tickets head over to Skiddle.

SankeysSankeys

The Drinking One @ Elixir

'If you are the forbidden fruit of my paradise, I am yours, to commit the first sin of love.'

There is no excuse needed for drinking cocktails but Valentine’s day fun and Elixir’s masquerade party is as good as any. Open for couples or singletons wanting to sample the treats, tonics and delights in Deansgate’s cocktail emporium, it’s better than the usual getting drunk and drowning your single sorrows.
And you get to wear a mask. How saucy is that? 

 


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