SLEUTH | The Man Who Fell To Earth, Metrolink Moan and Two Speccy Blokes

Confidentials 16 June 2016

Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. Sometimes Sleuth even gets serious @mcrsleuth

THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH

Sleuth sees vociferous Michelin-starred chef Michael O'Hare - recently appointed Creative Director for Ryan Giggs and Gary Neville’s GG Hospitality (which incorporates Hotel Football and Café Football) – has released a few more details regarding the new trio of restaurants to open in Stock (pictured) next year. During an interview with The Telegraph, published earlier this month, aside from discussing his hatred of feminism and assuring readers that his grandfather would never put his penis in Women’s Institute jam, O’Hare also revealed plans to open a ‘Parisian hotel-inspired restaurant’ in Manchester, called The Man Who Fell to Earth. Sleuth assumes this will become the flagship restaurant of the Stock project.

Interesting name that, thinks Sleuth, inspired by the Walter Tevis novel and the 1976 David Bowie film of the same name. Bowie’s character, an alien called Thomas Jerome Newton (good name that for an alien), arrives on earth after leaving his ‘vast, arid’ homeland, and sets about creating enough wealth on foreign soil to return home and liberate his people from destitution.

O’Hare is from Middlesbrough.

O'Hare: The Man Who Fell To Earth

'WE ARE MAKING EVERY EFFORT'... REALLY?

Earlier in the week, Sleuth read the Confidential article announcing the closure of four city centre restaurants: Quill, Khan Baba, Splendid Kitchen and Grinch. The latter two restaurants, both based close to Cross Street, had each released statements laying the blame at the feet of Metrolink and their Second City Crossing (2CC) project. Works on the 2CC – which will link Victoria Station with St Peter’s Square via Cross Street and Corporation Street - began in January 2014. The project is expected to complete in 2017.

As the article states: 'Critics of the Transport for Greater Manchester (TfGM) project have questioned how a diversion under a mile long can take almost three years to complete.' In response, TfGM Director, Peter Cushing, explained the project had encountered significant disruptions, including 'a collapsed sewer and discovery of almost 300 human remains on Cross Street'. Fair enough that. But Cushing also said: 'we are making every effort to have trams up and running on the Second City Crossing as soon as possible.'

Now, Sleuth was at the dentist this week. Sleuth's dentist sits above Boots on Cross Street. While waiting, Sleuth looked out the window down onto Cross Street. Sleuth saw just two workers, neither working. It was 3pm on a Wednesday.

'If this is 'every effort',' thought Sleuth, 'they'll be lucky to make 2170'.

There they are...

'Every effort'... really?

CLOSE SHAVE FOR SCHOFIELD

The editor at large, Schofield received this from Holiday Inn after his scathing review of the restaurant. 'Thank you for your reply. Our case notes reflect everything that you have brought to our attention and these have been forwarded to the management and ownership of the property. We know they share our vision of providing the best guest experience possible, and we are confident that they will take the necessary steps to continuously improve their product and services. In addition, your comments will remain on file at the IHG corporate office for use in periodic evaluations of the hotel. Again, thank you for your feedback and for contacting us.'

“Phew,” said Schofield to Sleuth, “Halfway through that I thought they were going to offer me a free meal for two.”

Holiday Inn's £14 chicken breast

BURGER & LOBSTEEERRRR SAY AGAIN?

Sleuth hears Burger & Lobster – which opened its first Manchester restaurant in August last year – is to end its no-menu policy after receiving the 1001th email asking about, well, what’s on the menu. The chain has offered just three items (lobster, burger and lobster roll), all priced at £20, since launching in 2011. But it seems this was too complicated for some punters, with the restaurant now offering physical menus featuring: two burgers, four types of lobster, and, new to the menu, nuts and olives (£3.50) to start. Now Sleuth hears the Manchester restaurant has been struggling of late, but if those nuts and olives doesn't get ‘em queuing out the door, Sleuth doesn’t know what will.

Where's me nuts and olives, eh?

CHINESE JOY

Sleuth was on a tour with a fine group of Chinese journalists last week. They visited many places but were excited to handle the books read by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels in Chetham’s Library. After all Marx and Engels were writing the Communist Manifesto when they were reading in Chetham’s in the 1840s and China is communist. Not that the present brand of neon communism might be exactly to Marx and Engels’ taste. As the group left the library one of the young women of the group, from northern China, asked: “Are there a lot of young Joy Division fans in Manchester? They are very big where I am from.” Sleuth replied that he supposed there were some young Joy Division fans but he didn’t know for sure how many. It’s a funny old world thought Sleuth, out with Marxism and in with Curtisism.

Marx and Engels and Joy Division

FIRST VOTE AT FAMOUS POST BOX

Sleuth was on a different tour with some excellent Mexican journalists this week. One Martha, was the Manchester liason. The tour took place twenty years after the IRA bomb and so the tour visited the famous Corporation Street post box which survived the explosion despite being adjacent to the blast. Martha demonstrated how a post box worked by posting her vote for the Euro Referendum. She was very excited and very happy because she’d just become a naturalised British citizen. “This is the first time I’ve been able to vote as a Briton,” she said. It was a sweet, sweet moment.

Citizenship expressed

SLEUTH’S FRENCH SON

Sleuth’s son was doing his French oral GCSE and the teacher was describing a town which had ‘plus chomage’. Asked to translate Sleuth’s son was confident: “Ah yes, this town has a lot of cheese.” Later he was telling the story and said: “I thought she said fromage, you know cheese, but chomage means unemployment, so the town has a lot of unemployment, not cheese.” Sleuth shouldn’t have laughed but he couldn’t help it.

Fromage non chomage

£35 BEDROOM TAX

Sleuth would also like to congratulate his son’s friend, Dom, a Manchester lad with an opportunistic eye. He’s at Uni in London and was visited by his dad in the accommodation his dad pays for. This being London the accommodation consists of a single small room. Our hero made his dad sleep on the floor, went out with his mates and came back at 4am, waking his poor old pa up. In the morning he charged his dad £35… for a night on the floor of a room he already pays for. Or so the story goes...

TWO SPECCY BLOKES EAT FOOD

Sleuth was surprised this week to stumble across a section of the Confidential site he'd never seen before; Gordo's TV (weirdly accompanied by a picture of Eric Morecambe). It's an invaluable source, Sleuth's told, for anyone looking for videos of two speccy blokes masticating in a boozer. Pass the Palme d'Or, would you?