Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious @mcrsleuth
NOW FOR SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT...
As you well know, Sleuth would typically kick off his weekly spout with some exciting news about a new noshery somewhere, or, more often than not, a new bar for Northern Quarter. However, this week Sleuth would like to kick off with something entirely different, something Sleuth likes to call:
Old lady in a wheelchair tied to the top of a car in Prestwich.
Now Sleuth knows what you’re thinking, and, yes, it does look like a prank, or at least, a re-enactment of that famous car scene from Mr Bean, but Sleuth has it on good authority from a taxi driver called Dave that on a recent trip through Prestwich, near the Shell garage on Bury New Road, he snapped this old dear being tied to the top of this car.
The mind boggles. Why didn’t they sit her in the back? Is the rope secure? Can’t she just roll backwards? And why’s she wearing sunglasses? But let us just enjoy this for what it is… utter, utter lunacy.
The lady is clearly a big Bean-erNEW NOSH & BEST OYSTERS
We should have just left this week's Sleuth there.
Anyway, Sleuth went for a wander around the all-new £1.3m ‘food hall-styled’ Piccolino Caffe Grande this week, and my oh my does it look grand; a melody of marble, brass, oak and hues of Riviera blue. It really is something, boasting an open grill and seafood kitchen, a pizza kitchen, a shell fish counter, a salumeria (cold meats), a cheese counter, a caviar bar, a patisserie, a juicery, an ice cream counter, a wine wall, two private dining/wine tasting rooms, a private cocktail bar, a particle accelerator, a chalk mine, a Butlins and an old lady tied to the top of a car.
But what impressed Sleuth most, above all that, were the rock oysters; plump, silky and saline. Seriously good. Piccolino reopens fully next Thursday.
MORE FISHIES
More seafood now as Sleuth understands a highly respected London-based fishy restaurant has been sniffing around the city centre and is close to securing a site somewhere near Spinningfields. Sleuth hears the new restaurant is about five months off opening and is aiming at the 'Hawksmoor end of seafood'... whatever that means. No name yet and details about the new seafood plaice are scarce, so if you do hear some fin please don’t hesitate to let minnow @McrSleuth.
I think you've had enoughNQ COFFEE SHOP SHOCK
Meanwhile, Sleuth hears Piccadilly indie coffee den Idle Hands is on the move, securing new premises in that most barren of coffee shop wastelands, the Northern Quarter. Idle Hands will move into the former Gina Bacconi unit on the corner of Dale and Newton Street, currently occupied by Sleuth’s barber, Mr Beardmore, which is annoying...
Oh and Wagamama have announced a new restaurant on St Peter's Square. A city fell asleep.
Idle Hands will occupy the former Gina Bacconi...AND ONE DOWN
Serious Sleuth now as he glumly reports the closure of Grenache in Walkden, a two AA rosette and Good Food Guide-listed restaurant that, despite a talented chef, some excellent food and warm staff, has fallen on hard times. Chef patron Mike Jennings – who bought the restaurant in 2014 - said: “It is impossible for us to continue our concept without some serious investment”.
Sleuth feels for Jennings, who has been fighting a noble battle from the start, running a high-end standalone restaurant in a Salford culinary backwater whilst losing the numbers man in previous owner, Huss Abbass. Sleuth hopes Jennings and partner Karen find new premises sharpish.
Jennings and a massive crabTHE MIDLAND HOTEL RESCUES THE DAY
A while ago a fine young man called Chris called and asked if he could propose to his lady on the high balcony of Manchester Town Hall Clock Tower. All was agreed then suddenly the Town Hall officers decided that tours and visits up there had to be halted after conducting ‘a meticulous survey’ - as opposed to one of those ‘slipshod surveys you usually do’ Sleuth commented at the time. But where the Town Hall failed the Midland Hotel provided. Thus Chris and Jemma were escorted to the roof of the Midland Hotel, where the lady duly obliged the gent by saying yes. Thank God. The Midland Hotel roof is used to this sort of thing. Over a hundred years ago the daughter of Mr Marks of Marks & Spencer had her reception up there with string quartets, dancing and cakes. It was fabulous apart from the smoky atmosphere of the industrial city which blackened the white wedding dress. No such problem for Chris and Jemma in these post-industrial days as they toasted their future.
The happy couple with the off-limits tower leering behindCHORLTON TOURIST INFORMATION CENTRE
This comment followed our tourism article. ‘Great article. I've been hosting Airbnb guests from all over the world for several years now and put great effort into getting people to venture further than the Old Trafford stadium tour. When it works, it works spectacularly; I get people telling me they didn't realise how much there is to do and see in Manchester. Recently an Italian couple actually sobbed on the way to the airport because they loved Salford so much! A Brazilian couple went home and opened their own bar themed around Manchester bands. One guy from Mexico was so enchanted by Chorlton he never even made it into the city centre.’ Sleuth loved that last line. Clearly Chorlton needs to open its own Tourist Information Centre.
BLUE LANGUAGE AT MR BLUE SKY
Sleuth was given tickets for an ELO concert at the Arena, a benign, jolly and light-hearted gig if ever there was one. The full house was filled with older and very tipsy people. Some of them thought it might be nice to loosen their old limbs and cut some shapes. To do this they had to stand up. The people behind objected. They sat down. Another tune came on, they stood up again and began to jig, so one of the people behind tried to push one of the dancers back down and then it was suddenly a free-for-all with everybody tussling and stewards running from all directions. It was the oldest fight Sleuth has ever seen. It made him laugh out loud and inappropriately. Meanwhile the band sang: ‘Sailing away on the crest of a wave, it’s like magic’.
ELO: ruddy sit down wud yaSLEUTH’S IGNORANCE OF THE WEEK
This from our article about Michelin stars. Dr Norman Peng of Salford University told Confidential that in terms of restaurants Manchester ‘has nothing to offer’ visitors. So we asked him about his knowledge of Manchester’s dining scene. "I think there are some good ethnic ones around Exchange Square...er...and there's Hawksmoor,” he said. Oh dear, Dr P, your end of term report reads: ‘must try harder’.
SLEUTH'S GLARING ERROR OF THE WEEK
Sleuth spotted this whopper this week in a story about Allied London's fast-developing No.1 Spinningfields project...
Tallest building? Errrr....
SLEUTH’S BIG HOLE OF THE WEEK
Sleuth was researching amidst the Manchester cuttings of Chetham’s Library when he found this picture of a big hole in the road in Ardwick from 1961. It’s more or less where the present big hole in the Mancunian Way lurks bothering city traffic movements. Sleuth wonders if by any chance they are related.
That looks familiar...SLEUTH’S DISH OF THE WEEK (ASIDE FROM THOSE OYSTERS)
Sleuth went to Fumo on Oxford Street this week and fell in love with a fish medley for £23.95 which was easily enough for two and came with tuna, seabass, prawns, scallops and so forth. If you like it fishy then get this.
Fish medleyGORDO STRIKES AGAIN
During a walk round of the refurbed Piccolino on Albert Square, owner Steven Walker led Sleuth and Confidential publisher Gordo downstairs to show off his loos. "You know," said Gordo, inspecting two workers polishing off one of the sparkling cubicles, "I'm sure I've had sex in that bog."
Two men busy in the cubicle... probably not for the first or last timePowered by 
