Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious @mcrsleuth
FIRST MCR HALL RESTAURANT CONFIRMED
Cielo Blanco, Leeds answer to Luck Lust Liquor and Burn, is the first restaurant to apply for planning in Manchester Hall – the monumental and reinvigorated Masonic Hall on Bridge Street by Percy Scott Worthington (1929). Cielo comes from the Leelex Group, the rambunctious lot behind Jake’s Bar and Neon Cactus on Leeds Call Lane. It’s likely Cielo will take the arched unit across from Manchester House, Sleuth knows this because their blue logo has appeared on the render below. Now that’s real Sleuthing…
SLEUTH’S DICTIONARY OF RECENT WORDS
This follows Douglas Gordon’s recent DIY at HOME (click here).
Gordon: verb. 1) To conduct a frenzied attack with a blunt implement. Example: He gordoned the new Manchester arts centre with an axe handle because he was a complete knob.
To be gordoned: phrasal verb. Drunken behaviour. Example: Last night I went to Festival Square and drank all the beer I could find. I was completely gordoned and woke up in Berlin.
Gordon: noun. Outrageous behaviour condoned because the perpetrator is an artist. Example: He did a gordon because the bad reviews affected his fragile fey sensibility. But that’s artists for you.
You're about to be Gordoned sunshine...OTHER MIF BAD BEHAVIOUR
Sleuth is hearing rumours of more bad behaviour at Manchester International Festival 2015 (MIF) after Douglas Gordon’s axe handle attack on HOME. Apparently Mr Tumble spray painted the new Library Walk blob with the words, ‘I hate children’, Charlotte Rampling kecked* Festival Director Alex Poots in the Festival Pavilion ‘because he’s Scottish, like that idiot Gordon’, and Confidential Editor, Jonathan Schofield, who is conducting the MIF walks programme, locked all his guests in a dark cellar and shouted Manchester facts at them for two hours.
*Kecking is a northern expression in which someone creeps up behind someone and pulls their trousers down. Rampling’s always at it.
Take that Poots...MISH MASH FOR CHORLTON
Kulsumah Indian Restaurant in the old chapel next to the Trevor pub on Beech Road is being replaced with Mish Mash. Expect lots of real ales and good wines, a bar area, a dining space plus a very generous walled terrace. The owner is James Plant who’s run operations in Alderley Edge so its Wags to Beeches for him. The menu is described as ‘classic British cooking which incorporates global flavour’. Sleuth hopes this also includes mash potato. Sleuth reckons lots of mash varieties could be the next cupcakes/burgers/ribs. Sleuth does a rather good snail mash even though he says so himself.
CUMMINS STILL GOING
To the Lowry Hotel on Tuesday evening, and a starry event with Michael Stipe, Mark E Smith, David Bowie, Mick Jagger and the Stone Roses, all looking down from the walls as Kevin Cummins, lensman and Salfordian, celebrated his birthday and an exhibition of his portraits from the last 40 years. A surprise birthday cake, decorated with a selection of his pictures, was probably the most photographed cake Sleuth had ever seen: Adrian, our host, had his knife poised for about five minutes before he could cut. The Lowry has bought 24 of Kevin’s pictures, and the exhibition runs until mid August. Sleuth approves. After all Manchester doesn’t have enough pictures of black and white rock stars from the ‘80s and ‘90s.
NEW NQ BOOKSHOP
Northern Quarter has a novel new bookshop which not only allows patrons to read books, but also to write one. Chapter One, a new bookshop/coffeehouse/cafe/studio/theatre/blacksmiths, has opened in that shady little corner at the junction of Lever Street and Dale Street (the one with the druggies) and features a number of typewriters on which Sleuth plans to thrash out a new book of black and white photos of Manchester rock stars from the '80s and '90s.
Chapter One, Northern QuarterBY JOE-VVV
Joe and Juice, Denmark’s ‘bifurcated beverage’ concept with stores across Europe, the U.S. and South Korea, has just opened a new outlet in Debenham’s on Market Street. According to the founder and CEO of the coffee, juice and sandwich bar, Kaspar Basse, in a video entitled ‘introducing new concept’ (sic), Joe & Juice customers ‘typically go for a coffee or a juice and a sandwich’. Sleuth can't wait to try this magical new concept…
TERRACE FINALLY GETS A TERRACE
Terrace - the trendy Northern Quarter bar without a terrace - has applied to build a terrace. This was the original plan, of course, but big meanie council planners refused their application – giving the bar a suitably ironic Northern Quarter name. According to plans the new NQ rooftop bar space will have seven tables, 19 chairs, 33 shrubs, a ‘hanging keg wall’ and a galvanised ‘bin’ planter. Right. On we stride…
Terrace is getting a terraceSLEUTH’S UTTER CONFUSION
This week Sleuth received this press release from incoming restaurant Burger & Lobster and is still utterly baffled...
‘We're hoping the Burger & Lobster phenomenon will fit in perfectly and the people will enjoy the new restaurant and bar as much as we know we will enjoy the people.
‘As an 'alright ar'kid', Burger & Lobster want to give the people of Manc the chance to get their claws into some proper grub ahead of its official opening.’
‘As an ‘alright ar’kid’? Eh? What’s one of those? Sleuth loves pointless attempts at northern familiarity from London PR firms. Sleuth feels let down though, there was no reference to the Hacienda, mad fer it, Bez, bees, footy, rain, being friendly 'oop north' and use of the phrase 'lads and lasses'.
Sleuth is one confused lobsterHARVEY NICHOLS LEAST POPULAR WINES
Sleuth and a companion were at the Harvey Nichols own-label wine tasting last week. Hosted by the knowledgeable Rick and Mike, it was a jolly evening. It started with Rick announcing that we were to taste “the six least popular wines in their range.” “You are joking of course,” said Sleuth’s amused companion. “No. I’m not”, replied Rick sternly. There was method in this madness – who wants to taste another Argentine Malbec or a Sauvignon Blanc, when you can have a wonderful English Sparkling Wine, a South Australian Riesling? “It tastes like an old woman, dry and smelly,” said Sleuth’s companion. “You mean fruity and robust and delightful,” said Sleuth, who has never tasted an old woman. Then there was a Sauternes (£15), which was probably the best dessert wine Sleuth has had in a long long while.
SLEUTH'S HILARIOUS APP OF THE WEEK...
...goes to Harvey Nichols for their attempt to deter thieves from their Manchester store by instead getting them to download a new loyalty app which offers the odd freebie. Genius. Of course, the thieves will first have to steal a phone. Actually, don't Harvey Nichols do those designer Vertu phones from £4200...
