THE main issue with best restaurant lists (and there’s many) is their inconsistency.
I don’t like you, and I especially don’t like your magazine...
Whilst Michelin might hail Heston’s Fat Duck as the best restaurant in the land, the Good Food Guide point to Rogan’s L’Enclume, whilst the AA Guide would send us up to the House of Tides in Newcastle.
Meanwhile, the San Pellegrino ‘World’s Top 50 Restaurants’ recently crowned another Heston gaff, Dinner in London, the best restaurant in the UK, whilst Restaurant Magazine places it down at 32nd (and the Fat Duck at 94th?), claiming Barrafina as the best the UK has to offer.
Elsewhere, The Sunday Times stick Restaurant Sat Bains at the top, the Observer Food Monthly give it to The Palomar whilst OpenTable reckon its The Ledbury.
So which is the best restaurant in the UK? Who knows? It's unavoidably subjective. But no such list is as unpredictable as those ranked via user-generated reviews, such as Trip Advisor, that rowdy clarion call of uncontrolled consumer bile which currently has a coffee shop (a very good coffee shop, mind you) and a grilled cheese shed (a very good grilled cheese shed, mind you) as the finest restaurants in Manchester.
That’s democracy? Fine. Rubbish? Of course it is.
Step in Trip Advisor’s lesser known cousin, Yelp, which has just published its list of the ‘Top 100 UK Eateries’ as voted for by its community of Yelpers. Uh oh.
As you can imagine, it makes for bizarre reading, none more so than down near the bottom, where Manchester's Sinclair’s Oyster Bar has been voted the 77th best restaurant in the UK.
No messin’.
Elsewhere, Northern Quarter’s Home Sweet Home, ‘the bestest little cake shop in the North West’ took 11th best eatery in the UK, whilst Teacup, Barbakan Deli, Katsouris, Gaucho and Akbar’s took 50th, 90th, 91st, 93rd and 97th respectively.
Sinclairs Oyster BarImpressive stuff from the eighteenth century Sam Smith’s pub, famed for its £2.12 pints of Taddys Lager, lively match day atmosphere and oysters (“which we don’t always have in, could be tomorrow, could be next week”). Particularly considering it stops serving food at 5pm.
So we called to congratulate the landlord.
“Hi, can we speak with the landlord?”
“In regards to what,” says the landlord.
“You’ve been voted the 77th best restaurant in the whole of the UK according to Yelp, how about that?”
“I’m not interested… *SLAM*”
Blimey.
And it’s not the first time he’s knocked us back. A number of years back our editor-at-large, Jonathan Schofield, decided to compile a list of Manchester’s best oyster restaurants, including Livebait (RIP), Kaleido (RIP), San Carlo and so on. Naturally, he felt Sinclair’s should feature…
“I’m not telling you the price of our oysters, I’m not interested in any of this,” the landlord told Schofield. “I don’t like you, and I especially don’t like your magazine.”
Clearly not a fan of crowd-sourced review sites, best restaurant lists, or, indeed, us…
We think we like him.
Here's Yelp's Top 100 UK Eateries:
1 Dishoom, London
2 Hawksmoor Seven Dials, London
3 Tayyabs, London
4 Yauatcha, London
5 Franco Manca, London
6 Duck & Waffle, London
7 St John Bar and Restaurant, London
8 Flat Iron, London
9 Barrafina, London
10 Home Sweet Home, Manchester
11 Busaba Eathai Soho, London
12 Bodean’s, London
13 Hawksmoor Spitalfields, London
14 Sketch, London
15 Bone Daddies, London
16 Patty & Bun, London
17 Swan Shakespeare's Globe, London
18 Ottolenghi, London
19 Homeslice Pizza, London
20 The Wolseley, London
21 Hakkasan, London
22 Honest Burgers, London
23 Belgo Centraal, London
24 La Favorita, Edinburgh
25 Princi, London
26 Chilango, London
27 Le Mercury, London
28 Burger & Lobster, London
29 Meat Liquor, London
30 Bread Meats Bread, Glasgow
31 The Table, London
32 Dinner by Heston Blumenthal, London
33 Mildreds, London
34 Ubiquitous Chip, Glasgow
35 ICCo, London
36 Le Relais de Venise L'Entrecôte, London
37 Workshop Coffee, London
38 Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese, London
39 Ten Ten Tei, London
40 The Ivy, London
41 The Devil's Advocate, Edinburgh
42 The Edinburgh Larder, Edinburgh
43 Benito's Hat, London
44 Dishoom, London
45 The Dogs, Edinburgh
46 Oink, Edinburgh
47 Goodman, London
48 Maze Grill Mayfair, London
49 Misato, London
50 Teacup, Manchester
51 Bocca Di Lupo, London
52 Hula Juice Bar & Gallery, Edinburgh
53 David Bann, Edinburgh
54 OXO Tower Restaurant, London
55 The Outsider, Edinburgh
56 The Breakfast Club, London
57 Stereo, Glasgow
58 NOPI, London
59 The Porterhouse, London
60 The Holyrood 9A, Edinburgh
61 Buen Ayre, London
62 Bibimbap Soho, London
63 Martha’s, Glasgow
64 The Hanoi Bike Shop, Glasgow
65 Hawksmoor Air Street, London
66 The Butchershop Bar & Grill, Glasgow
67 The Ledbury, London
68 Mother India's Café, Glasgow
69 SUSHISAMBA, London
70 Wong Kei Restaurant, London
71 Bloc+, Glasgow
72 Asakusa, London
73 Pitt Cue Co, London
74 Vittoria, Edinburgh
75 Dishoom, London
76 Ozone Coffee, London
77 Sinclair's Oyster Bar, Manchester
78 Food For Friends, Brighton
79 Pizza East, London
80 The Chilli Pickle, Brighton
81 Hanedan, Edinburgh
82 Regency Café, London
83 Nanakusa, Glasgow
84 Bill’s, Brighton
85 Tokyo Diner, London
86 Scandinavian Kitchen, London
87 Franco Manca, London
88 Pizza Pilgrims, London
89 Big Easy, London
90 Barbakan Delicatessen, Manchester
91 Katsouris Deli, Manchester
92 Cây Tre, London
93 Gaucho Grill, Manchester
94 Bistrotheque, London
95 Caravan Kings Cross, London
96 Zuma, London
97 Akbar’s, Manchester
98 Bodega, Birmingham
99 Shake Shack, London
100 The Blue Bear, Edinburgh
(image credit: Trip Advisor)
