MANCHESTER has pipped the likes of London, Liverpool and Edinburgh to be crowned Shortlist magazine's 'best place in Britain to be a man'.
Emblematic of modern man's wilting disposition, Shortlist readers ranked 'good phone reception' above 'good local pubs'
"The locals have been telling us for years, but now it's official" says Shortlist's Sam Rowe. "Manchester is Britain's foremost destination for the modern male."
The free men's lifestyle weekly surveyed over half a million readers to find out what factors blokes considered most important when choosing where to live.
Shortlist then 'employed a mixture of stats, reports and hearsay to come up with the list' - which in men's mag speak means they discussed footy transfer rumours for five hours then panicked and took a punt on Manchester, "ya know, coz of United and Oasis and those 26 Nobel laureates 'n' that".
Manchester, Rowe continues, has the highest percentage of single people in the UK (true, around 55%), an average £3 a pint (where's he drinking?) and 'more international restaurants than anywhere else' (hold on... anywhere else?).
United, City, Madchester, Morrissey, The Gallaghers, pies in gravy and, of course, the Haçienda, all get a run out; as does Nicky Butt:
"I was playing for Manchester United, the biggest club in the world, and you'd go out and bump into lads from Oasis, the biggest band around. I was at the Haçienda one night midweek, and the entire United team turned up. You wouldn't get that nowadays..."
You sure wouldn't, the Haçienda was demolished in 2002.
Emblematic of modern man's wilting disposition, Shortlist readers ranked 'good access to shops' (84% importance) and 'good phone reception' (68%) above 'good local pubs' (65%) and 'good sport' (50%) in terms of importance - suggesting the modern chap would sooner be tweeting their way around Waitrose than going for a kickabout and a pint.
Which begs the question: what the f**k has happened to us?
So yes, Manchester may be 'the best place in Britain to be a man'... but you go tell that to Moyesy.
Shortlist - Why Manchester Is The Best Place To Be A Man
TOP 10: Manchester, Bristol, London, Edinburgh, Newcastle, Plymouth, Cardiff, Sheffield, Liverpool, Glasgow
