Albert Square Chop House Is Massively Fowl
Part of the mighty Roger Ward’s Chop House series (Sam’s, Mr Thomas’s) Albert’s on Albert Square is settling in nicely. Gordo’s pal, chef Stuart Valentine, @chefvalley, has produced some excellent food in the last few weeks, including a mutton broth (a the dish of the week), Barnsley mutton chops and a very refreshing beetroot and curds salad.
I know, sounds boring, but just right.
Stuart sent a few tweet messages to tell Gordo about a new idea; whole roast chickens on a Sunday, for two to three people. No ordinary chickens these, a dozen or so of Reg’s special cluckers from up in Goosnargh. These chicks are remarkable, no cages for them. They get a pedicure and massage once a week, their own room with an en-suite and a bed of roses.
Then they get their necks wrung.
And Stuart puts them into brine for twelve hours on Friday, dries them out on Saturday and finally roasts them off on Sunday. With all the trimmings. If you ask nicely, you can have a Yorkshire pudding. Oh, along with a teapot full of Northern chicken gravy.
These movie stars are just £28 a pop, value for two people or indeed three. If you want one, you need to book your table and reserve one; take a look at the video…
Solita and Italia
It appears that something odd has gone on and Gordo’s pal and fantasist Franco Sotgiu is back concentrating on the outlandish but tasty food that has challenged many a foodie over the past six months or so at Solita. Italia isn’t spoken about any more.
Franco’s latest edition at Solita is pulled pork and Scotch egg soldiers.
Forgive Gordo, but is he the only person in Manchester who isn’t pulled-sodding-pork’d out? They do look a bit lush mind.
Pulled Pork Soldiers
There’s no such thing as bad publicity
Gordo wrote a ‘constructive’ review (click here) of a meal from Ernst van Zyl, the Rolf Harris of Molecular Gastronomy over at Etrop Grange, which has the best food of all the airport hotels, as long as you stick to @Erniechef ‘s standard menu.
Unlike other, lesser, ‘modernist cuisine’ chefs such as Simon Rogan or Heston, who spend years perfecting a dish prior to it making the menu, the lively Ernst produces ever changing plates for his diners brave enough to choose from ‘chef’s dinner menu’.
Ernst doesn’t bear a grudge and takes all criticism in a positive manner. When asked by one of his followers on Twitter how business was, he replied thus…
“@Erniechef: Since a review a few weeks ago by a man with tastebuds like that of a dog that licks his balls & arse daily; we've been even busier. :-)”
Gordo wonders who was on Ernst’s mind……
Etrop Vegetable Petits Fours
Heart Attack of the Week
Well the previous one. Gordo summoned his trusty Chorlton guide, Wotherspoon, to go and get pissed with him a couple of Sundays ago. San Juan was shut, so the deadly duo dodged baby carriages, pugs and Labradors on a journey north to The Beagle, that much re-incarnated gaff on Barlow Moor Road.
Spectacular little pies on the bar, and crisps to die for. But the coup de grace? Something called the Manchester Steak. It was minced beef and lambs kidneys, made into a ‘steak’ battered and deep fried with chips that put the crunch into crunchy. Brown sauce as well. Gordo’s arteries were furring up by the minute. Gorgeous.
Beagle Heart Attack
Complete F****** Mental Case of the Week
Hands down, Johnny The BaaBaa. Actually a barber, he came into Mancon Towers perched on Morgan Leahy’s shoulders. Both mad Irishmen, they are thinking of bringing Johnny’s barbershop from Cork to Manchester. The idea was to give The Editor a haircut. He was somewhere else ‘researching’ (yeah really, in a pub?), so Gordo got the treatment.
Johnny’s unique selling point is that he cuts hair with a cutthroat razor. It was an uncomfortable half hour. Gordo asks you, dear reader, to take a look at the picture. You too would be a little concerned. It worked in the end, mind.
Johnny The Baabaa
Poor Personal Grooming of the Month
Goes to Marcello Distefano and Thom Hetherington. Marcello and his dad, the irrepressible Carlo, had been selected for one of three special achievement awards at Thom’s Northern Restaurant and Bar show in March. The stunning success of San Carlo’s restaurants in the North and latterly, in London and the Middle East earned them the accolade.
However, as can be seen in our picture, Anthony ‘Tony’ Lyons, from Kuits solicitors, and Carlo, are both showing the other two the way home when it comes to having a shave. Gordo is going to introduce the pair to Johnny The BaaBaa.
Mind you, Gordo’s drinking pal Tony is used to close shaves over at Kuits…
Anthony, Carlo, Marcello And Thom
Yohji Yamamoto
Gordo’s old pal Anthony H. Wilson came to mind when Gordo was in the bookshop on Saturday. Tony used to buy some of his outfits at the Yohji Yamamoto shop in London. Gordo likes his stuff, but always finds him a bit glum. Leafing through a huge coffee table book, he found an interview with the Japanese designer.
“What about an ordinary day, what do you do from waking up to going to bed” asks the interviewer.
“I wake up in despair and go to bed in resignation,” replies our chirpy chappie.
Forgive Gordo for doing some self-harm later on in the day.
Pie of the Month
Thyme Out Deli in West Didsbury has won a place in Gordo’s heart recently, for its breakfasts. He called in on the way to his mum’s and picked up one of their pork pies with chutney. And a couple of slices of cake. Awesome. Get some.
Thyme Out Pie
Thyme Out Deli Raspberry Cake
Restaurant Opening of the Month.
CIBO is opening in Didsbury, having taken over the old La Tasca spot. Owned by Adam Karim, the proud owner of a pair of feet the size of small canal barges, along with chef Martin Cordwell. Gordo is becoming impressed. Martin has a good pedigree with his food whilst Adam can worry a ten-pound note around a car park for three hours.
The first tasting showed mainly Venetian small plates, with two of the dishes proving to be outstanding. One was a great rabbit stew. Expect good niche cooking, definitely not a YAFI. (Yet Another F****** Italian.)
It’s opening around 25 April, look out for news on Confidential.
Italian Wabbit
Fit Bird of the Month (And Gordo's politically correct message of the month)
Try, like Gordo did, to get an excuse for a meeting at The Hilton with Aimee Sieczko. Use any excuse. Well worth it. No pictures yet, but Gordo will be working on it.
Painful Personal Grooming Appliance of the Month
Gordo had received complaints about nasal hair recently, so, having spotted a neat piece of personal grooming kit in Boots, he made the purchase and shot off home to sort the nasal forest out.
A quarter of the price of the branded appliance, he was feeling well pleased with himself.
Until he stuck it up his nose and turned it on.
When he came to on the bathroom floor wondering where the fuck his left eyeball was, he vowed, never again. Not even for companion status with Wotherspoon.
Nasty Nasal Hair Destroyer
Happy Trails
Gordo
You can follow Gordo on Twitter @GordoManchester
