Get The Skinny: Finding The Perfect Jean Fit

THE PROCESS of getting into skinny jeans is not too dissimilar to a gymnast preparing to master the still rings. You need a good grip, flexibility and an unrelenting strength.

A friend remarked that she has to "lay on the bed, force them up and use a coat hanger" just to zip up the fly of her favourite skinnies. An image that sounds both absurd, yet also incredibly normal.

 Stuffing your squishy muffin top into skinny jeans is an ardous task to bear and a struggle that leaves women of all creeds unified. 

Any jean that has managed stretch the span of the voluptuous mound that is Kim Kardashian's bottom, is more than up to the job of covering mine.

After the jean propelled itself from its industrial origins and became 'sexy', jeans are as common to our wardrobes as grey v-neck t-shirts are to Simon Cowell.

Yet it’s still difficult to find denim that fits and flatter various women’s body types - there could never be a one size fits all option. While denim styles include the bootcut, the straight leg, the boyfriend, the flare, most popularly in this generation, is the skinny jean and it's the most difficult to find the right fit. 

Women of all creeds fear the muffin top

In my experience jeans are made to European size standards and aren’t forgiving on the curvier of butt, wider of hip and longer of leg. With a small waist and a bum that could man its own satellite, I tend to be left with ankle swinging denim jeans tight on the leg and gaping at the back. 

Safe to say, I can not buy jeans without trying it on.

So I went to investigate the skinny jeans available on the high street and challenged stores to solve the muffin top issue.

THE DESIGNER – ARMANI HIGH WAISTED SKINNY - £160

The first thing that runs through my mind when entering designer stores is, “do I look poor today?”  Whether intended, it’s always intimidating waltzing in any shop where the minimum price range is around the cost of your weekly food shop. But with higher prices, must come better quality and importantly, a better fit...surely?

Armani Jeans, much like Calvin Klein, have long promoted its jeans with a hyper- sexual goddess, usually topless and sprawled about with a certain degree of nonchalance. Today, I was not such a being.

Rihanna For Armani

Even so, the service was attentive. I was taken to the jean section and talked through Armani’s choice of skinny jeans. Strangely, Armani Jeans seem a little dated. Some come with diamante rhinstones and on first wear make me feel as if it were 2003 and at the community centre Christmas Disco.

Armani’s high waisted skinny jean size 29 didn’t really fit. They were baggy and typically it gaped around my small waist and clung to my thighs. In fact, Armani’s skinny jeans weren’t really skinny at all.

Armani Skinny Jeans Not So Skinny Fit

 Double checking with the helpful sales assistant, I quizzed whether Armani Skinny Jeans were supposed to bag around the ankle: “We offer tailoring for £15 to taper in jeans,” she explained.

Standing at 5-ft-10 it was surprising to see so much extra material at the bottom and it appeared Armani caters for giants. While good for me, it's troublesome for those who are average height.

Paying extra for tailoring on top of £160 doesn’t seem worthwhile when buying off the rack in cheaper stores comes with more current styles.

THE CELEBRITY FAVOURITES – J BRAND AND CITIZEN OF HUMANITY, SELFRIDGES - £270

Any jean that has managed to stretch the span of the voluptuous mound that is Kim Kardashian's bottom, is more than up to the task of covering mine.

The Kardashians, Rihanna, Kate Middleton and other celebrities are supposed fans of luxury denim labels, J Brand and Citizen of Humanity. Both brands are stocked in Selfridges, in the department stores large dedicated denim section.  

If Kim Kardashian wears J Brand so can I

The jeans are so expensive they that could cover my phone bill for seven months.

J Brand and Citizen of Humanity jeans are extremely trend led and come distressed, cropped and torn.

For £270 was there any material left worth to buy?

Selfridges Denim

Clamboring into the large Selfridges dressing room I poured on the size 29 jeans  (estimated between a size 10-12). Like many celebrity endorsed brands, I expected them to be overhyped. 

But they weren’t. Fashionably high on the leg, they snapped to me like a glove.

Snapped to me like a glove: J Brand Jeans

The denim was soft and I slipped into them with ease. I could even bend down to tie my shoelaces and I managed to perfect my MJ impression with a moonwalk. 

Both brands were luxurious and I wanted them. Unfortunately my card declined. 

THE HIGH STREET FAILSAFES – RIVER ISLAND AND TOPSHOP, MANCHESTER ARNDALE - £40

The first jeans I ever bought were from River Island.

They were bootcut, boyfriend fit, low rise and allowed me to flash the brightly coloured waistbands from my 'girl-boxers'. I'm older and wiser now.

When I asked on Facebook, girls gushed about the 'booty-perfect' fit of top-selling Arcadia stores Topshop and River Island: 

“Only River Island do it for me! Fitted at the waist but perfect on bigger hips and thighs!”

“River Island - they fit my wide wide hip to skinnier leg ratio x”

“Topshop Joni jeans! Forever and always xo”

River Island Denim Section

First, I opted for the River Island's Dark Wash Amelie Super Skinny and fell in love. 

Tapered at the leg and mid rise, they successfully covered my bum and didn't restrict my movement. For £40 they surpassed my expectations, as did River Island's sizing. Unlike Armani, River Island offer different leg lengths and cater for both the super petite and the leggy.

With Topshop also charging £40 for jeans, the battle between the two high-street giants was on. 

Topshop Joni Jeans (Left) - River Island Amelie Jeans (Right)

Topshop has a large dedicated section for denim and much like River Island have taken to naming all their denim styles. It's supposed to help make things easier when deciphering between straight leg or bootleg, but it's boggling.  There's Joni, Leigh, Jamie and MOM. 

Eh?

Joni Jeans are the store's skinniest and on first look resemble leggings made for three year olds. And boy, they are tight. 

Tight as they may be they managed the impossible and snapped in at my waist, covered my bum. Joni Jeans even relieved me of holding in my stomach. 

River Island's 'super-skinny' jeans were my favourite, however.  It's 'high performance stretch' technology felt both modern, stylish and importantly long-lasting. 

THE CLASSIC - LEVI'S, TRAFFORD CENTRE - £85

Levi's know what they're doing with denim. And they should do, they've been the world's go-to for jeans since 1890. 

Levi's curve ID campaign created jeans for women in custom fittings depending on your waist to hip ratio: slight curve, demi curve and bold curve. 

With a 39 inch hip and 24 inch waist, I'm a bold curve. Bigger, bolder, better, faster, stronger - perhaps?

Levi's embrace slight, demi and bold 'curves' 

"It's a good thing, you have an Iggy Azalea arse," said my sales assistant at the Levi's store, Trafford Centre.

Whilst being compared to the buxom blond Australian rapper is by no means a bad thing, I was more worried about a fit tailored to my personal figure. 

I was asked what style I wanted, how long my legs were and was given both a demi-curve and bold-curve in a size 28 to try. I was told that they'll feel quite tight at first but to stick with it. 

Levi's Skinny Jeans Bold Curve

 It was a struggle, to say the least. After thrashing around the changing room for five minutes I decided to go up a size. The size 29 was a much easier fit and I was then able to understand Levi's popularity.

My bottom had room to, erm, breathe.

Levi's price range is more than reasonable for a respected denim brand. It felt less about finding jeans that were trendy and more about finding jeans that would last. 

THE MCR VINTAGE DISCOVERY – POP BOUTIQUE, NORTHERN QUARTER - £15

Comparatively to women in the 1950s, sizewize I'm an amazon. 

With clothes spanning back more than sixty years, Manchester vintage store, Pop Boutique's sizing disclaimer explained: "Sizing varies from country to country and some items go back from the 50s onwards so sizing may not fit today's specifications."

1950s Jeans

With that note, I didn't feel bad picking up a size 12 and barely fitting in them. 

        Vintage LevisPop Boutique stock the classic and reliable Levi jeans and have mostly cropped them to make shorts. Levi's denim's durability is unfounded. Yet trying on the boutique's custom fit was a serious struggle and meant forcefully stuffing my bum into the back the pants with my hands. 

The finished look wasn't skinny but a throwback nineties high waisted mumsie jeans. 

THE CHEAPEST  -  PRIMARK SKINNY JEANS, MARKET STREET - £5 - £15

Primark 

Primark: where hopes and dreams go to die on a busy Saturday afternoon. 

It's best to go to shop Primark jeans on a week night when few are around. The fast-fashion store will usually surprise you and when it comes to Primark Jeans they've done well to make them appear as if they are more expensive than the cheap item they actually are. They look good, but they won't survive the spin cycle. 

Ranging from £5 to £15, they have about a year's wear in them. Nonetheless, with a vast range of styles to choose from, Primark is best if you're opting for a fleeting denim trend. 

So after a lot of stretching, squeezing and earnestly trying to fit in the cheapest of denim to the eye-wateringly expensive, my denim expedition came to an end. But to what end?