FORGIVE me brother, for I have sinned.
Only the soothing hum of your tires upon the tarmac and the rhythm of your breathing may be audible when riding
I have treated one of your own not how I would want to be treated.
For when you sign up to the life of the modern day cyclist, you do so by accepting that you will follow ‘The Rules’. The Rules being the sacred text of the Velominati, a self appointed collective of all knowing cyclists, who have set out to compile and enforce a comprehensive list of rules on all things two wheeled. The list cleverly straddles a line between good common sense and the absurd, tongue in cheek, pedantic obsession that the world of cycling can be known for.
Though as I stood in the Manchester workshop of Edinburgh Bicycle Co-op, with my bike strung up before the mechanic, it was hard to ignore the look of shame and disappointment being cast across my bicycle and I. I had failed Rule #65: Maintain and respect your machine:
Maintain and respect your machine.
Bicycles must adhere to the Principle of Silence and as such must be meticulously maintained. It must be cherished, no squeaks, creaks, or chain noise allowed. Only the soothing hum of your tires upon the tarmac and the rhythm of your breathing may be audible when riding. The Principle of Silence can be extended to say that if you are suffering such that your breathing begins to adversely affect the enjoyment of the other riders in the bunch, you are to summarily sit up and allow yourself to be dropped.
I hadn’t even got close. Dirty. No chain oil. Run down brake pads. Loose (actually very loose) chain. Glass fragments in the tyres. Over stretched gear cables. My rear tyre on backwards. The list was going on and on and with it my bike MOT was off to a bad start.
Thankfully Stephan, the co-ops bike mechanic, had a patient side and rather than being sent for twenty lashings I was given a lesson in what I should be doing to respect my bike. The aim of the MOT is to highlight and educate rather than shame and punish so we worked our way through a checklist of maintenance points from wheel to wheel and seat to pedal.
With the summer biking season well under way, in the coming weeks you could find yourself lining up for the Tour de France, the morning commute or the Great Manchester Cycle it may well be time to give your bicycle a little bit of TLC or at least learn how you should be doing it week in week out.
The Great Manchester Cycle is on the immediate horizon (Sunday 28 June) so after months, weeks or days worth of training there can be no worse feeling than being let down by a mechanical failure on race day but if this does happen on then look out for the Edinburgh Bicycle Coop Mechanics as they will be the Official Cycle Mechanic Team at the event, riding to the rescue of fellow breakers of Rule #65.
