Jonathan Schofield on a claim to be virtuous that appears to have substance
When asked how I am, I say I’m well.
Most Brits don’t say I’m well in 2024, they say I’m good. Strictly speaking, ‘well’ refers to your state of health, ‘good’ refers to your moral state. Most people aren't enquiring about your morality. ‘Good’ in this usage is an American thing we adopted a while back, probably when Friends became popular. It’s harmless, so my pedantry is ridiculous, I get that. Call me old-fashioned.
The floating hotel will not be like that, it is will be a sleek purpose-built hotel (see main image) built in the Netherlands
But when companies making money off people self-describe as ‘good’ I feverishly mix my metaphors as heckles rise and alarm bells ring. It’s the same with the commercial jiggery-pokery of Pride weekend when institutions such as Lloyds Bank and United Utilities etc…pretend to be the gayest folk in the village and therefore 'good'. Yeah, right.
Remember the old Google strapline of ‘Don’t be evil’. This was a slogan that was clearly and outrageously contradictory and hypocritical given any cursory search using their oh-so-clean search engine of the wilder and more vile sections of the internet. The replacement 'Do the right thing' is equally nauseous.
Commercial organisations claiming to be virtuous and morally exemplary is nine times out of ten sheer nonsense.
The Quays at Salford have now received sweet-talking, honey-tongued proposals from The Good Hospitality Group for a floating Good Hotel with a slogan of ‘Sleep good. Do good’. The latter activity seems deeply unfeasible unless you sleep walk and, at the same time, raise money for worthy charities.
The image that immediately springs to mind when looking at the proposals is of the migrant barge, the Bibby Stockholm at Portland in Dorset. This is the floating detention centre for asylum seekers waiting to have their claims processed. There's a bit of a relationship there. The Good Hotel has one existing floating hotel in London’s Royal Docks which was formally a Dutch floating prison.
That's where the relationship ends.
The Salford-based property will be a handsome and sleek purpose-built hotel (see main image) built in the Netherlands and towed across the sea and up the Ship Canal. There appears to be no way to book that exciting sounding voyage.
If planning goes forward the Good Hotel will rest on the water next to The Lowry arts centre from late 2025. ‘Float’ is a bit of a misnomer as it will be firmly and safely fixed to the bed of the former Dock Nine of Manchester Ship Canal on a pair of mooring piles driven into the dock bed.
There will be three floors, a bar and restaurant for both residents and non-residents and 180 rooms. One very ‘good’ aspect is that there will be little construction required aside from connecting with utilities so little of the dust and heavy vehicle usage. There’s the usual cascade of words such as ‘sustainable’ in the proposal and thankfully, the hotel will be safe from flood risk. Phew.
There’s no car parking but plenty of provision for bikes. Very Dutch.
The location is excellent, the design smooth, and during the footy season you can imagine it being popular with United fans. If the team beats Liverpool or City at Old Trafford and the fans celebrate at the Good Hotel let's hope they don’t rock the boat too much.
For comparison, rooms at the London Good Hotel start from £105 per night. The menu is fairly simple and seems to be a mix of British and Spanish cuisines; Caesar salad, Spanish omelette, a tomato 'tartare', grilled leeks, lamb chops, rump steak, gambas and so on.
Marten Dresen, Founder of The Good Hospitality Group, says: “We are hugely excited to bring our floating Good Hotel concept to Salford Quays: a thriving tourist and commercial destination.
“We will collaborate with local partners and establish a successful training programme, mirroring the success we have experienced in London where hundreds of trainees have so far completed our Good Training Programme. As we prepare to submit our plans, we're committed to providing meaningful opportunities for local residents, helping them secure long-term employment and contributing positively to the community.
He goes on to say: “We want to play a positive, active and long-term role in the local community at Salford Quays. Before we submit our planning application for our new floating hotel, we wanted to share our plans with local residents and businesses and invite your feedback. As part of our Dutch culture, we like to take the personal approach.”
As for all the ‘good’ this, and ‘good’ that, there's real substance to the claim.
The Good Hotel Group declares itself a ‘socially responsible business’ that doesn’t give out dividends and re-invests profits in trying to find unemployed locals work. In London with Newham Workplace, they claim to ‘have created 60 training positions on average per year since 2017, with over 70% of trainees going on into further employment’.
But there’s more. The whole impulse behind the enterprise comes from Dresen visiting Guatemala in 2006 and being so moved by the child poverty that he set up a school, Ninos de Guatemala. Profits from the Good Hotels go to help education over there as well. Aside from London there are other Good Hotels in Guatemala and Antigua.
So the 'Good sleep. Do good' strapline is saying while you sleep, the money you've spent with the group is doing good things elsewhere.
Having written and worked with people in property in the UK and talked over so many ‘consultations’ one standout difference with this Dutch operator is access, live talking access to living people on the end of the phone, for everyone not just journalists.
On the website there’s this from Dresen.
“If you prefer, please pick up the phone and speak to our Project Manager Mark van´t Klooster on 07432 159604. Mark would be more than happy to tell you more about how we work and answer your questions.”
That’s a phone number with someone on the end of the line. I know because I called the number and it went to voicemail and I wondered if this was an empty promise. It wasn't, within twenty minutes Mark van’t Klooster rang back. That was refreshing.
Simple things such as answering the phone to everyone and anyone might seem trivial but in 2024 it's not, given most companies put up barriers to communication. Allowing us to talk directly to a human is a very ‘good’ start for the proposed Good Hotel at Salford, it inspires confidence.
Let's hope 'good' actually means 'good' for once in corporate speak.
Initial feedback to the plans is up until 9 August 2024, after which a planning application will be submitted to Salford City Council. Depending on the duration of the planning process, The Good Hospitality Group could be looking to bring their hotel to Salford Quays in Autumn/Winter 2025. The website link is here and you can email the company here.
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