Have you ever heard about the rice experiment? No? Okay, here's a quick recap. In Japan, researcher and alternative healer Masaru Emoto wrote notes on two containers of cooked rice. One said, 'Thank You' and the other said 'You Fool.' Emoto then asked a group of school children to read the labels aloud every day as they passed. According to alternative therapy legend, after 30 days the rice in the container with positive thoughts had barely changed, while the other had gone rotten.

Still with me? Okay, here's the thing. I think I've been doing the 'bad rice' thing with my thighs.

This stunning insight occurred to me during my Seaweed Cellulite Treatment at Castlefield Spa.  This hour long treatment uses the Gerard's range of skincare products (the Spa has recently switched from Dermalogica to this natural Italian range) and is an anti-cellulite treatment that promises to help thighs and bum appear smoother and more toned.

To begin the process, exfoliator was applied to my thighs. This seemed to surprise them, and no wonder. At best, my thighs are ignored. At worst, I'll fling them them the odd insult. Little wonder they've retaliated by hanging onto every coffee and alcoholic drink I've ever had.

The exfoliator was then soothingly smoothed away and a simple oil was applied, followed by some very vigorous massaging to get the blood flowing.  By this time my thighs were astounded. 'Who me?' they piped up, incredulous, before being smothered in a layer of the refreshingly cold seaweed and then cosied up in clear wrap for the treatment to take effect.

While the seaweed worked its magic, it was time for the Anti-Ageing Facial, again using   the Gerard's products. A moisturiser was applied first to the lips and eyes, before my skin was cleansed, exfoliated and moisturised, with some gentle massaging which lent a nurturing feel. Next a face and eye mask was applied, with some time for this to take effect, before it was time to finish with a soothing scalp massage.

The fresh, gentle scents of the Castlefield Spa's new Gerard's skincare range were a real benefit to this facial. This Italian range uses only natural ingredients, and their delicate but evocative scents adding an indulgent yet holistic quality to the pampering process.

With the facial complete, it was time to rinse off the seaweed wrap and inspect the effects of the treatments.  My thighs, feeling taut and smooth, were very happy indeed. 'You do love me after all!' they cooed (very forgiving thighs these), while my face also felt smooth, the skin plump and wholly nurtured.

After the treatments I could practically feel the toxins fleeing my body, and, despite this only being a two hour treatment in total, I left feeling as though I had spent the day at a spa.  Visit Castlefield Spa. Your thighs will thank you.

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The Castlefield Spa at the Castlefield Hotel and Y Club, Liverpool Road, Manchester, M3 4JR.   Seaweed Cellulite Treatment, 1 hour, £48.  Anti-Ageing Facial, 1 hour, £40.