Week 33: in which an orange serves toast
Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week. It's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. Sometimes Sleuth even gets serious @mcrsleuth
Are sandwich boards just road works for people?
Sleuth was on his way into the city centre this week. For some reason Sleuth lost his mind and attempted to do this between the hours of 5am and 11pm, so inevitably found himself in an 83 mile tailback through Stretford because all but one lane had been closed due to a trowel in the road. Then queues again on Mancunian Way because someone had stuck a sticker on a lamppost, and again on Great Ancoats Street because geese had been spotted crossing the road 700 metres away.
Sleuth decided to have done with it, ditch the car in the Ashton Canal and make it on foot. Sleuth was making good time now, that is until he turned onto King Street where a barricade of sandwich boards blocked his path. He tried to go right, but was blocked by a Red Angel. He tried to go left but was knocked back by Sam's Chop. He tried to vault a Mango but came unstuck against a wall of Grafene. Sleuth was beat. He sat down on the pavement and cried... then retreated to Sam's for a pint.
Orange to open Toast
An Orange has claimed Toast is the best thing since sliced bread. Yes Justin Orange, the brother of Take That's Jason Orange, is to open a new cafe in Altrincham serving things on toast. There'll be breakfast on toast, lunch on toast, dinner on toast, dessert on toast and, of course, Sunday roast on toast. Orange told Sleuth he's looking forward to launching this 'unique concept' and addressing the region's serious dearth of eateries serving things on hot bread. "Following Toast I'm going to open a new toast-less restaurant serving things not on toast," said Orange, "we're calling it Plate."
Weird things people do
“So what are you doing tonight?” Sleuth asked a friend. “I’m going to a Coronation Street quiz in the Black Dog Ballroom in the Northern Quarter,” came the reply. “Why not stay and drink sitting on these comfortable stools in El Gato Negro, of course, that means black cat in Spanish so there’s some similarity but no daft quiz,” said Sleuth. “No I want to win the Corrie quiz,” Sleuth’s friend said and left. She came fifth. The Corrie guest star at the event was the character Eileen Grimshaw, played by Susan Cleaver. “She came on singing," said Sleuth’s friend. "Singing what?" asked Sleuth. "Come on Eileen, of course," came the reply. Sleuth was pleased he chose cat over dog.
Weird things people drink
By staying in El Gato Negro, Sleuth was able to sample Cynar liqueur from Italy. This is a rare drink. Sleuth can safely declare it the world’s most disgusting supposedly palatable liquid. Cynar’s predominant flavour is artichoke mingled with bitterness, rancor, pain and the longest, vilest aftertaste known to Man. Apparently Italians drink it when they are ill, to remind them that things might get worse, although Sleuth might have made that up. Sleuth reckons the name should be Cynar-cal. Still things perked up with a Spanish white vermouth, called Lustau. This is very herby and delicious and made missing out on Eileen Grimshaw singing Come On Eileen worthwhile.
Odd things in galleries
Sleuth took a trip to the People’s History Museum on the Spinningfields borders this week. He wanted to view the exhibition called Continuum: Framing Trans Lives in 21st Century Britain. It’s a striking event on until 3 September. Sleuth had to stoop twice to read the title of this work shown here by Chris Hubly. Maybe you can make out the title. Perhaps take the family along during the long school holidays.
Gordo vs Simon Rimmer
Old Man calls TV Chef 'lazy'. TV chef calls Old Man 'fat'. Chorlton butcher called a 'f**kwit'... young people stay out of it.
Mayfield and Fantastic Mr Fox
Sleuth was lucky to have a tour around the 24 acre site of Mayfield this week from the fine people at U&I developers. Up on the platforms of the abandoned station it was magnificent. An oasis of self-seeded birch, in amongst which there was a fox. A handsome dog literally master of his city centre domain. U&I have got grand plans for Mayfield, which lies between the Mancunian Way and Piccadilly Station, including a six acre park, that’s right, a proper park for the central Manchester area, along the banks of the River Medlock. Sleuth reckons that makes for a space as big or slightly bigger than St Peter’s Square. Some more greenery for humans as well as beasties.
These are a few of Sleuth's favourite things
Following the wave of positive reaction on social media to last week's Sleuth about beer served in schooners and street food served in puddles, here's more things Sleuth has plenty of time for right now...
- Tall glass towers
- Shouty beggars on a Sunday morning
- Ripped jeans on men
- Fat people with tattoos
- Thin people with tattoos
- New concepts
- Concept shops
- Exclamation marks
- Dutch-style cycle lanes
- Everything Scandi
- Anything 'inspired by New York'
- Loud restaurant music
- Lincoln Square
- Festivals in Albert Square
- Really small dogs