Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious @mcrsleuth
NEW NORTHERN QUAR... YOU KNOW THE DRILL
Now, you may need to sit down for this one. There's plans afoot for a new venue in the Northern Quarter. No really, Sleuth kids you not. It's from the folk behind Tariff Street's Whiskey Jar bar (pictured above) and, if approved by the council, will occupy the takeaway place at 10 Newton Street next door to the former RoadHouse gig venue (RIP) and beneath 'Bruce Lee's JKD' (an alchopop with kick?).
Proposed opening hours are 7am to 10pm so Sleuth's guessing it's likely you can 'do brunch or grab a coffee or share small plates or just kick-back with a craft beer or artisan gin cocktail', crafted no doubt by a bartender tattooed entirely from the eyebrows to the giggleberries.
The Newton Street dragWAGAMAMAMIA
Sleuth hear's the vast 3.5 million sq ft of land housing the Trafford Centre, Event City, Chill Factore and so on is to be renamed Trafford City - continuing the Airport City trend of naming places 'city' regardless of whether anyone actually lives there or not.
Sleuth hears the Trafford Centre is to celebrate the news by launching the world's biggest Wagamama, adding to it's already impressive world-beating collection including: the world's biggest Primark; the world's crappest rococo fountain; and the most likely place in the world in which to commit harakiri on Christmas Eve.
That'd teach 'em to knock back GoldfingerWHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?
Sleuth loved this find on the council website this week. Princess Street student club The Factory has applied for a 'minor variation' to its premises licence this week:
'1. Staff shall conduct a thorough inspection of the premises after closing time to ensure that no patrons remain on the premises. This inspection is to include the toilet...'
Sounds to Sleuth like some university fresher has necked one too many shandies and fallen asleep on the khazi, only to wake, stumbling out into the darkness, pants round ankles, setting off the alarms before getting tasered in the bare arse by a passing bobby... at least, that's how it plays out in Sleuth's head.
Dave? Dave? There's no loo roll Dave...PAUL HEATON AND THE PIGMAN OF SALFORD
Paul Heaton who owns the King's Arms in Salford is well-known for his music with the Housemartins and the Beautiful South, he's also pretty well known as a very active socialist and Labour Party member. So the fact the King's Arms is keeping the red flag flying high with it's latest rushed out special beer is no surprise. Indeed with the Conservative Party Conference upon us Heaton has been busy tweeting: 'Don't forget that Trade Union Friday has been extended all weekend at @kingssalford and Cameron is still barred.' Sleuth didn't think you were supposed to mention politics or religion in pubs.
The Kings Arms ART SAVES THE DAY: SLEUTH'S HERO OF THE MONTH
After the marvellous Buy Art Fair in Ye Olde Granada Studios the Arusha Gallery folk were returning home over Trinity Bridge. Two of the goodly people, Bella and partner Guy, wondered why a crowd was gathered on the bridge. Turned out a young fella had just jumped off the bridge, missed the water and landed on the River Irwell bank. It's a huge embankment here with overgrowth but Guy was the hero as others stared and did nothing. He scrambled down. Sadly in the meantime the jumper had broken his leg and fallen into the river. Fortunately Guy was on hand and dragged him out. Sleuth's fave fact about this is that Guy can't even swim.
For all the heroics Arusha Gallery deserve a plug for their 6pm-8pm event at Artisan Bar in Spinningfield this Tuesday with their artist Ilona Szalay. This talented woman is a painter based in Italy who has achieved deserved praise for paintings on glass. Places are limited so book on 0161 832 4181 or manchester@artisan.uk.com. Artisan is only two minutes from the river, so if anyone wants to go skinny dipping Guy should be nearby.
Trinity Bridge and the undergrowthSLEUTH'S CHILDISH: PART ONE
Sleuth's never been much into fate or destiny or what faithies refer to as predestination. However, Sleuth does believe that ever now and then, when you need it, the cosmos may throw you a happy coinkidink to keep you chipper.
So it was that Sleuth, moping down Tib Street after Wales turned over England, spotted a chap outside Sacha's hotel taking a tinkle into a drain... leaning on an 'Urban Splash' van. Cheers world ol' buddy ol' pal.
Where will The Tinkler strike next?SLEUTH CHILDISH: PART TWO
When you're in Buxton and somebody mentions the local building firm and exclaims, "Mycock's concrete," then Sleuth defies anyone not to giggle. And giggle hard. Stiffly. With rigid hilarity.
Tough loveSLEUTH WISHES PEOPLE WOULDN'T BE SO CHILDISH: PART ONE
This from the second hand furniture shop on Upper Chorlton Road. Honestly Mycock's concrete is funny but this is just crude.
Sleuth would never stoop so low PLANNERS GONE MAD
Sleuth's pleased that after months of making noise, the Heaton Moor residential and business community have instigated the renovation of a local landmark - The Savoy Theatre - by an independent luxury cinema group that has overseen similar projects in Belper and Melton Mowbray. However, Sleuth hears from one local business owner that council planners will not allow the Savoy's signage to be given a lick of paint. Now Sleuth asks why, if the paint was exactly the same shade, the letters can't be brightened up a touch? It's planning gone mad...
The Savoy and its faded lettersSLEUTH'S SIGN OF THE WEEK
A diversion down through the infernal regions could actually prove to a pleasant alternative to Manchester's current hellish traffic situation. Here's a question...
AND IF THE TRAFFIC WASN'T BAD ENOUGH...
Now the quacks are in on it...SLEUTH MISSES THE POINT
Sleuth was standing on Trafford Road in Salford wondering where Exchange Quay was. He asked several people and they didn’t know even. If only there’d been some sort of sign pointing him in the right direction. Maybe three signs, or arrows.
"No idea, mate," says the man on the right to Sleuth. "I've been looking for Exchange Quay for ages but there's nothing to indicate where it is."
