Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious @mcrsleuth
SLEUTH’S WEEKLY NEW BAR BOMBSHELL
First some ale news. In October last year you may remember Sleuth revealing that Manchester happy hour merchants The Liquor Store were planning to open a second venue down on First Street behind HOME. Well now they have a neighbour as Sleuth spots The Dockyard have snapped up the space next door. Sleuth spoke to boss Steve Pilling who said: “The new venue will be the same winning Dockyard formula with its own microbrewery and a nod to the site’s past as a gas works.” “So you’re going to set aside a room in the bar for the production of flammable gas?” asked Sleuth. “Not exactly,” said Pilling, “but I’ve an idea where you can find some.” Dockyard no.3 should open sometime in April. But not very near any water.
Dockyard site, First Street“HANG ON… I’VE GOT A GREAT IDEA”
Sleuth occasionally gets on the tram at Firswood for the hop into town. But the tram, packed with Didsbury and Chorlton commuters, wouldn't budge. The platform at Firswood has been built too high and tram doors get stuck against the platform when closing if the vehicles are full. Sleuth couldn't believe his ears when the driver said, "This might sound strange but could people on the platform side of the vehicle move to the other side to shift the weight." It was like the closing scene from the Italian Job. Sleuth says sack the surveyor and shave off the station's excess. A 21st century transport system indeed.
Stuck tram
By George, our super-modern Northern Hub is further off than I thoughtTHE CITY IS YOURS
Sleuth learns that Manchester Cathedral is bracing itself for an extraordinary Friday. More than 1000 people are expected to turn up for the funeral of Gary Thompson, Manchester United's most loyal fan home, away and in Europe. Thompson, also known as Coco, is reputed to have created several classic United songs. Now the versifier will have songs sung for him within the 600-year-old walls of the Cathedral. After the service and indeed before those who wish to celebrate Coco's life are invited to the Old Nag's Head and the Sir Ralph Abercrombie in the city centre for more singing and celebration. Sleuth thinks the songs might have a somewhat different content to those in the Cathedral.
'With A knick knack paddy whack give a dog a bone... Why dont City fu... oopsREVOLT
December's markets in Manchester were apparently the only man-made feature you could see from space along with the Great Wall of China. Sleuth is presently enjoying the city without bumping into gluhwein bars and stalls selling strange wooden ducks. Sleuth is also wondering what might happen this year at the Christmas markets. He hears, on the hush-hush, that turnover was one third down and that the Continental stall holders are revolting - so to speak. Sleuth can't wait to see how the council spins that one when it produces its Christmas summary. Sleuth bets it doesn't principally blame the disastrous infrastructure upheaval even though everybody else does.
One stall holder revoltingREVOLT (AGAIN)
Back in December, Confidential revealed the formation of a Lingerie Football League in Manchester, an organisation that hoped to tackle gender inequality by playing football in lingerie and definitely not objectifying women. Since then the organisation claims to have been ‘banned’ by the FA. To tackle this gross misjustice the LFL and it's horde of supporters organised a fearsome protest outside Anfield this week…
'I shall not, I shall not be moved... oh alright then'ROCK BOTTOM
Have you and your partner reached the end of the line? Love life hit the buffers? Relationship gone off track? Worry not, because Manchester's most ritzy venue, The Printworks, are offering 25 loved-up couples the opportunity to travel standard class aboard Manchester's most elegant carriage, the tram, for a magical Valentine's Day voyage between the romantic market town of Bury to the intimate surrounds of Exchange Square... outside Foot Asylum. But wait, there's more: joining you lucky lovers on Saturday 13 February aboard the 'Love Tram' service will be Manchester's very own Mr Back Piccadilly, who, having recently failed to find shelter on popular TV show Take Me In, will be compèring throughout and probably looking to catch 40 winks and score a free half can of shandy. The ticket giveaway runs until 10 February, but be quick, with a tram journey from Bury and a night out in the Printworks - including a red WKD in Waxy O'Connors and a pint of Carling in Norwegian Blue - up for grabs, competition will undoubtedly be fierce. Apply here
Mr Back Piccadilly, you know, off Take Me In
...HE WILL
You may have seen on Thursday the Daily Mail clear its front page to scream 'Who Will Speak For England?' regarding the forthcoming referendum on Britain's membership of the EU. You may also remember the Manchester New Year's Eve photo, dubbed 'The Creation of Manchester', that went viral last month, and its unlikely stricken star. Problem solved.
SLEUTH'S CITY PLAYER LEAST IMPRESSED WITH HIS INVISIBLE CHINESE NEW YEAR DISH OF THE WEEK
Easy. Sergio Aguero.
.SLEUTH TRIPS
Sleuth was in New York recently, staying in quite a fancy hotel too, the type where a Ninja maid slips in sometime between you leaving for dinner and coming back pissed to fluff your pillows and pick up your pants. Now Sleuth's never experimented with LSD, but reckons someone must have slipped him a tab on this evening. It’s the only explanation for what Sleuth saw on his hotel room TV screen that night – which Sleuth can only really describe as the infernal spawn of a Yeti and a mop. Taking a walk. The receptionist would later tell Sleuth this was a ‘sleep calming measure’. Sleep calming? Perhaps next time they can send in Nosferatu to sing Sleuth a lullaby.
HOLD THE PHONE...
Elsewhere, this happened...
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