Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious @mcrsleuth
NEVILLE TO UP MCR'S MICHELIN CREDENTIALS?
Sleuth reckons Gary Neville must be the busiest bloke in Manchester. Having taken up a coaching role with England and a punditry position on Sky Sports, Neville then opened a hotel opposite Old Trafford, acquired a football club (Salford City FC), bought up half of the city centre with the backing of Chinese and Singaporean heavyweights and established a homeless shelter. Not content, Sleuth now hears Neville is ready to take on Manchester's Michelin woes.
Last week Neville was snapped wooing chef Michael O'Hare, star of BBC's Great British Menu and recent recipient of a Michelin star for Man Behind The Curtain in Leeds (main image). Sleuth's told Neville is lining-up the rockstar chef to head-up the restaurant at his new Stock hotel project on Norfolk Street with an eye on that famous little red tome.
Great news, Sleuth tried O'Hare's food last year and was blown away by its sheer preposterousness... duck liver doughnuts, sir?
Chef Michael OHareSLEUTH HAS AN IDEA
Sleuth has an idea for Neville & Co. Having attended a discussion this week featuring Chris Moore, the CEO of The Clink charity which trains offenders within prison restaurants to find catering work on release, Sleuth reckons Neville should take a leaf and offer the squatters currently living in the Stock building jobs helping to restore the gaff. Those willing can stay on in the building with the best grafters reassigned within the hotel and kitchens once it's finished. Sleuth knows you're busy Mr Neville... but how about it?
Neville plans to turn Manchester's Stock building into a new boutique hotel and restaurant
LEFTBANK... WHAT'S GOING ON?
Sleuth's been following the fortunes of the Leftbank folly since it first began taking shape three months back. Initially chatter involved an oyster bar, then a Brazilian cocktail bar, then, well, nobody's quite sure, but Sleuth's colleague says they know a guy who knows a guy who once saw three people sat in the deckchairs. A rumoured £150,000 later and the sheds - which Sleuth's told cost £8,000 to paint (Sleuth's giving up the pen and taking up the brush) - have been torn down to make way for 'The Garden'.
The Garden, by all intents and purposes, will be Spinningfields latest Screenfields, an outdoor cinema space featuring: a 72" large screen, astroturf, bamboo, a herb garden, more astrotruf, more bamboo and a 'Nordic style festive pop-up space' with 'a collection of old school board games'. The project is expected to cost in the region of £7m and complete sometime in 2018.
The Garden will replace The Folly
SLEUTH AND THE REVEALING JOB TITLE
Sleuth is a little bemused. He was talking to the council about the crisis in Manchester infrastructure this week. Turns out the councillor in charge, Cllr Kate Chapell, is the ‘Executive Member for Environment’ and leads on ‘food futures, green issues and climate change, Manchester contracts and parking, planning policy and transport policy including highways’.
Interesting order of priority there thinks Sleuth because in terms of economic activity (creating more jobs) an efficient infrastructure trumps the lot. In her Twitter profile Chapell describes herself as ‘cyclist, greenie’. All of which adds fuel to the fire that the council is conducting a witch hunt against cars. And for that matter buses, the road narrowings on Deansgate, Portland Street and elsewhere have caused massive delays for public transport too.
COUNCIL LAUNCH WORLD FIRST
Speaking of Manchester's roads, Sleuth learnt this week that the council, in a bid to combat the region's rising unemployment rate and stop anyone getting sodding anywhere, have launched the world's first ever rapid response human traffic calming squad, dubbed the 'Team Working Against Traffic'. As you can see, this member of TWAT, having brought the traffic on Newton Street to a halt, is on the phone to the council finding out where traffic in the city has begun to budge, so he, and other members of TWAT can quickly bring it to a halt.
Where next boss? There's traffic moving on Deansgate? Give me five minutes...
A BUTCHER TWEETS
Being National Sausage Week, Sleuth was present on Tuesday when Confidential's Gordo, having sent his elves off to collect twelve of the region's best bangers, staged a blind sausage fry-off at the Lawn Club, The winner on the day was Mettrick's of Glossop; 'Looks great, medium sized, tight skin, browns well. Real pork sausage aroma, juicy mouth-feel, delightful flavour and well-balanced seasoning,' scribbled Gordo. A worthy winner, alongside Grandad's and Bobby’s Bangers which came a close second and third. All the contestants took the competition with good humour. Apart from Lee ‘Horsey’ Frost, of Frost's Butchers in Chorlton.
Sleuth hears Horsey stamped his feet and shot into the bar of The Parlour in Chorlton early doors. Nine pints later, Horsey took Gordo (a three-times bankrupt ex-porn baron) to task on twitter:
'So… A bankrupt publisher and (unpublishable and probably defamatory) chef decide who’s got the best sausages in Manchester, You couldn’t make it up.'
In the interest of fairness, Sleuth took a look at The Fat One's competition notes. Gordo's comment on Frosty's entry was brief: 'A bit sweaty'. Oh dear, oh dear.
Gordo's Best Bangers in Manchester - The Lawn Club from Manchester Confidential on Vimeo.
SLEUTH’S OVERWHELMED TELECOM OFFICER OF THE DAY
Sleuth is massive fan of Fifth Element. Knows all their songs off by heart. No really. This image amused him though, a confused telecoms worker surrounded by a mighty queue of young women at the Ritz. He looked nervous. Sleuth loved how the queue politely separated where he was at work.
In his (Fifth) element
SLEUTH’S LEAST FAVOURITE QUEUE OF THE WEEK
Speaking of queues. This is Sleuth's least favourite. It's lunch at the Whitworth Art Gallery. It loops every day. The new café in the new extension is mesmerizingly beautiful - almost a work of art - but it simply doesn’t work on any type of practical level. The architects MOMA clearly had no idea about restaurants. Sleuth reckons the Whitworth should start putting tables and chairs out across the adjacent concourse. Cafes and restaurants make money while galleries suck it up. More space please for chowing dear Whitworth.
You'll die of hunger before you're served
SLEUTH’S FAVOURITE ART OF THE WEEK
Sleuth was at the Whitworth Art Gallery this week to look at Art _Textiles. Go, says Sleuth, and have a gander at this exhibition before the end of January 2016. It's deeply political art, occasionally disturbing, but also frequently beautiful. There are works by Mary Sibande and Grayson Perry and so many others, you'll lose two hours. In fact hire someone to stand in that queue for the cafe until they get served and then nip back after you've enjoyed the Art _Textiles show. That'll take about two hours.
Mary Sibande's work stops crowds
Grayson Perry, always political
SLEUTH'S CHEEKY ART OF THE WEEK
This was in the garden of the Whitworth Art Gallery and is called Manchester Infrastructure: Crisis Part One. It is described thus: 'A typical roadwork in Manchester 2016, depicting an idle mechanical digger behind a fence. This mysterious and inconvenient object is both a mystery and an irritation, asking questions such as: Why is it there? When will it ever leave? Can we go home now we've been stuck in this traffic for fifty minutes? A brutal intervention, it reveals the loneliness of existence and the dichotomy that exists between Oyster cards and Transport for Greater Manchester.' (PS. Sleuth's lying about this being an artwork, of course, and would have removed this Sleuth if he hadn't been delayed in traffic.)
Sleuth's art liesSLEUTH'S CHEEKY BRANDING OF THE WEEK
Sleuth spotted this waste disposal lorry outside the Slug and Lettuce on Deansgate this week. Sleuth presumes this lot had strapped their pipes to the beer taps...
SLEUTH'S SAD FACE OF THE WEEK
Sleuth conducted lots of Halloween tours over the last week or so. He was accompanied by his friend Mr Turnip. There was a reason for this. Before the Brits got to America and found fat juicy pumpkins they used to carve turnips into evil faces. Sleuth still does. Old-fashioned like that you see. After the last tour Sleuth thanked Mr Turnip for his services and then left quickly. Mr Turnip didn't look happy.
Not a happy Mr TurnipSLEUTH'S FEARSOME BAR FOOD OF THE WEEK
Sleuth was in Lunya last night. Having ordered a very fine pint of Alhambra from the bar, Sleuth fancied something salty to wash down, so popped into the deli next door. Amongst the spicy fried broad beans and toasted corns, Sleuth spotted what must be the biggest, most fearsome bag of pork scratchings he'd ever seen. Either that, thought Sleuth, or someone's been at the nail clippers...
Fingernails
Pork scratchings
