Sleuth, sorry Slth (we've dropped the EU) is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Slth's truth. He's several people all at once. Sometimes Slth even gets serious @mcrsleuth
EU VOTE REVEALS TERRIBLE NORTH/SOUTH DIVIDE
Slth is shocked. He can’t believe how clearly the divide between North/South has been underlined by the EU Referendum. Wigan, Bolton, Bury, Rochdale, Oldham and Ashton voted to leave and Manchester, Trafford and Stockport voted to stay. It’s North Greater Manchester versus South Greater Manchester. It’s the North/South divide just for us.
The Manchester North/South Divide'PENCILGATE'
Following a rumoured MI5 conspriacy to alter the outcome of the EU Referendum in favour of Remain – by rubbing out Leave votes made in pencil – staunch Leave supporter Gary Trumpington informed Slth of his ingenious scheme to foil the plot outside a polling station in Wigan. “They’ve only provided them pencils so they can scrub out our Leave votes,” said Gary. “Some UKIP bloke was handing out pens outside, but what if they’ve got that Cillit Bang stuff? That removes ink that does.” “I believe pencils are used because they’re cheap and don’t run out of ink,” said Slth. “Ah that’s what they want you to think… but don’t worry,” said Gary, tapping his nose. “I’ve bought one of those invisible ink pens… the bastards can’t alter my vote if they can’t see it eh?”
Gary had 'em beatSOD OFF
Slth later caught up with Gary on Peter Street, where Slth found Gary lobbing pork pies at The Midland Hotel. “Why on earth are you chucking pork pies at The Midland?” asked Slth. “Because the result of the EU Referendum was announced hours ago,” replied Gary, “and I’m still trying to get The French to fuck off back home.”
'Oi, The French, fuck off back home!'EU BREXIT LEADS TO RESIGNATIONS AT THE TOP
Gordo and Schofield of Manchester Confidential have issued this statement: ‘Following the vote to leave the European Union and our determined and passionate calls to remain in the Union in our articles here and here, from Wednesday we have decided to stand down as Publisher and Editor-at-Large respectively. We begin this process immediately and hope to be out of office in time for the Conservative Conference in Manchester this autumn. Then we’re going to get utterly pissed with David Cameron and George Osborne while shouting at them for having the bloody referendum in the first place.’ Sleuth hears Manchester Confidential will become Castlefield Confidential reflecting the reduced status of…er…the country now we’re out of Europe.
David Cameron: "Right... f**k it then"BREXITEER DOES VICTORY DRIVE PAST
Sleuth fears that some people were just gloating outside Manchester Town Hall after the Electoral Commission's Jenny Watson read out the results of EU Referendum.
Look... one-handedTHE POO-UND
Meanwhile, Slth has just popped down the shops to buy some milk and bread... it cost him £263. 'Oh well,' thinks Sleuth, 'we may have become poorer than France overnight... but at least the pound still has a use.'
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