Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week. It's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. Sometimes Sleuth even gets serious @mcrsleuth
SLEUTH'S BEST NEW POP-UP
'Tis the season of the gimmicky pop-up, and this could be Sleuth’s favourite. A new car garage-themed pop-up is to open in the old Masonic hall on Bridge Street next week, as £7 million plans by Vision Developments to transform the building with a stylish bevy of bars and restaurants finally gets off the starting grid. Located in the Grade II-listed building’s former garage space, Sleuth hears the nattily named Garage Bar will serve cocktails such as the Spark Plug and Anti-Freeze in a space decked out in old licence plates, headlights and copies of the Sunday Sport. And Sleuth hears that bosses, intent on giving punters a real authentic experience, have insisted that staff members refer to all female customers as ‘luv’, assume they have no idea which cocktail they’d like to order, how it’s made, or how much it costs, and must, must, must have at least 40% of their arse crack showing at all times. So Sleuth hears.
Garage opens Saturday 3 December.
Garage will occupy the Masonic hall's former garage space (bottom right)
SLEUTH’S WORST BUILDING OF THE YEAR
What an awful building and what a great location, next to the Midland Hotel, over from Manchester Central. It seems the chief design idea was to match the building to the trees; trees that will lose their leaves in winter. The architects are TP Bennett, a huge international practice that has just opened in Manchester. Some of their stuff elsewhere is very good, so why this wrong place, wrong size, wrong colour and cheap looking structure? The name of the architects wasn't on the initial press release, perhaps they were embarrassed. They should be. Apparently, Windmill Green, as it will be called, is ‘a bright green hub of energy in the beating heart of Manchester.’ Or better, thinks Sleuth, ‘a bright green crock of shite stabbing through the beating heart of Manchester.’
A 'bright green hub'
Another bright green hub which would also match the trees and look much better
SLEUTH’S TEMPTING JOB AD OF THE WEEK
Sleuth had to laugh this week as another business venture fronted by former United stars Gary Neville and Ryan Giggs dropped another PR bollock. Following on from the St Michael’s shitshow (where Sleuth’s Confidential colleagues were physically barred from entering by anxious PR bods), the new Creative Director of their hospitality firm, Chef Michael O’Hare, did what any newly appointed chef opening three new restaurants in an unfamiliar city would do: he picked a fight with all of its bartenders.
Yes, O’Hare - who recently bagged a Michelin star for Man Behind The Curtain in Leeds – told the MEN that he found cocktail culture ‘sleazy’ and ‘gross’, and later suggested via Twitter that bartending was not a ‘real job’ and that they all 'look like Mumford and sons' (which Sleuth has to admit is quite funny). As expected, they took it really well. So imagine Sleuth's surprise when he later spotted the below job ad posted by O'Hare. Actually, Sleuth might apply, he's done time behind the bar, and is used to working for an egomaniacal blowhard who considers him a useless twat.
Bartenders, form an orderly queue
MANCHESTER ART GALLERY’S PHOTO COMP OP
Sleuth was at the launch of Martin Parr’s Strange and Familiar: Britain as Revealed by International Photographers exhibition at Manchester Art Gallery. It’s fabulous. Go. It was announced there was going to be a competition for us locals to take photos of Manchester. Council Leader, Sir Richard Leese, will choose the image of Manchester that most sums up the city today. In which case, Sleuth reckons anybody taking a photo of a massive fucking traffic jam will surely win.
'Oh that's lovely, exactly what we're after. Pat, we've got a winner'
TRAFFIC CALMING SIGN OF THE WEEK
Sleuth reckons Old Trafford people need to be in less of a hurry.
'Don't you tell me what speed I should be travelling'
SLEUTH’S MISTAKEN IDENTITY OF THE WEEK
Sleuth was having a meal with some enthusiastic Dutch guests on Saturday at Albert’s Chop House. They were over for the United v Arsenal game and they were great fun. The meal had been pre-booked for them by the organiser. To start with we had sourdough with a dip. Everybody loved it, especially the Dutch chap opposite. “This is a lovely oil,” he said. Sleuth raised an eyebrow, “Oil? That’s beef dripping.” There was a crisis over the table, “Oh no I’m a vegetarian, I’ve never eaten meat all my life.” The man was wiping at his mouth with his napkin. “I thought it was a really good balsamic,” he said. Later Sleuth saw him pick up the sourdough, as though in a trance, and make to dip it once more. Can’t blame him, bloody good stuff that beef dripping. It’d turn anybody.
Beef dripping makes Dutch guest go mad, wear a crown, blow a whistle and tell a cracker joke
Oh look at it though
SLEUTH'S UNFORTUNATE SCREEN SHOT OF THE WEEK
Sleuth reckons he should perhaps give Corrie another chance...
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