"Why always me?" cried the troubled striker,
Maybe because he hurled darts like a sniper.

Maybe because he lit fireworks in his flat,
Or because he dished out twenties in a Santa hat.

He visited schools and seemed nice and friendly,
Yet terrorised Deansgate in a camouflage Bentley.

Alas! He had a scuffle with the boss Mancini,
The situation got heated and really quite steamy.
His City career suddenly went down the pan,
So he tooks his fireworks back to AC Milan.
Arrivederci Mario, as you say in Italian.