Confidential Safari #6: Another School Day

In his regular report, Editor David Adamson - with help from the Confidentials team - looks back on some of the recent events from across the city and beyond.

"The English do not have a cuisine, my friend, they only have the food"

Unagi Salford Quays launch 

The sentence "Where shall we eat beforehand?" rarely falls on happy ears. You're probably off to the cinema, or the football or a play, and want the evening's eating boxed off with little thought and even less difficulty. 

The only issue with this is that the likes of The Lowry Outlet Mall (now Quayside Media City) and its numerous clones across the country were for too long some of the bleakest dining experiences on offer. The chains lined up offering cuisines from around the world with the subtlety of that United Nations scene from Ali G Indahouse. The world is here for you to choose from and yet you are nowhere. 

I must be fair and note that Kargo MKT is a vast improvement on this in every sense, but if the market layout is a bit overwhelming for you then I would suggest you give Unagi a go. It's a Manchester enterprise (with spots in Alty, West Didsbury, Wilmslow and the original in Cheetham Hill) which makes its prime spot across from The Lowry Theatre a pleasant surprise. These things are so often the preserve of Pizza Express.

Yes there's sushi - the platter for one I tried at the press preview was like a greatest hits setlist made fresh with very good quality fish. But if you don't fancy nigiri before settling down for Murder on the Orient Express there's a tidy and judiciously chosen 'Rice and Noodles' side to the menu that will probably tick most boxes - ramen, katsu, teriyaki, yakisoba and udon. That pretty much covers it.

So when you're off to look at The LS Lowry Collection or The Queens: Exhibition or Bluey inevitably tramples once again into town like Godzilla, there's a much shorter question to ask, "Unagi?"

"I am eating muffins because I am unhappy"

Mr Thomas' Chop House, St Ann's Square 

While we're on the subject of theatres, I went to watch The Importance of Being Earnest at The Royal Exchange back in June. It was a Wednesday night and between finishing work and curtains up I needed to eat something.  Long gone is The Rivals food offering, a sacrifice of the pandemic that's never been renewed, and while there's always McDonald's over the square we can do better than that. At the risk of repeating myself, why in Christ's name are there so few options for eating in St Ann's Square? One place there is, and seemingly always has been, is Mr Thomas' Chop House.

I love the building and its sense of another time, the staff are lovely without laying it on thick and I have a lot of respect for its unwavering menu of British classics. I had the steak and ale pie (very nice) with a pint of Guinness and it not only powered me through four acts of Wildean farce, but probably through the rest of the week. Which led me to think that if Tom's Chop House did a proper pre-theatre menu of interesting small plates they would scoop up the hordes of hungry couples wandering the square and even pinch some lost souls from TGI Fridays. 

The next time I'm at the Royal Exchange I'd love nothing more than to go to Tom's Chop House beforehand and eat more informally while having a few pints, maybe even standing at the bar (seeing as I'd then be sat down for the next three hours). Then should I realise the time and need to rush over the square it's easier to finish a final croquette and some anchovies rather than an entire pie.

"Call me a convert"

Sunday Service at Pantong Thai, Wilmslow 

Maybe it's the imagery, but something about the word 'bottomless' just opens up a well of depravity and excess in us. 

"I tried the bottomless brunch at Slug & Lettuce and now I can’t distinguish faces" says The Echo. 

"But the website said bottomless," slurred Suzie, three Wet Floor signs trailing from her dress like shit from a goldfish. 

"It says bottomless wings, so I'm having as many as I want," said Andy, clasping the head of a wriggling hen between his knees. 

Maybe it's better to call it a buffet.  

Pantong Thai in Wilmslow goes one better by calling their weekly all-you-can-eat style meal ‘Sunday Special Service’. Much better.

I paid a visit one Sunday with my mum, sister, brother-in-law and little nephew, who I can see in two years time being able to demolish the entire menu and the table to boot.

Crucially you don’t have to leave your seat, it’s all a far more civilised matter of ordering from the friendly and frighteningly efficient staff. No need to be elbowing your way to the spring rolls. 

“Remember, if there is something you enjoyed then please feel free to order it again,” soothes the laminated menu. Now that’s service.

I started, as I always will until the end of time, with Tom Yum Gung soup, along with a spring roll or two and a frankly shameful amount of sweet corn fritters. Then it was a procession of mains each as lovely as the last, my plate an ever-changing musical chairs of flavours. 

The nephew had baby mush and veggie sticks, but I imagine not for much longer. When the time comes for him to eat with the adults I'll ring ahead and tell them to prepare themselves.

"...and not a lick of paint"

Hyperdub and The White Hotel present…

Back in 2017 my mates formed a band called W.H Lung and booked a gig at a place called The White Hotel over the river in Salford. So I went along to support them.

Going off the name I was expecting a building similar to that of something like The Deansgate, an Edwardian (or thereabouts) pub with an inviting facade of bay windows, a warm glow and a back room for live performances. 

What I was greeted with was an old MOT garage with a bar in the one-time mechanics pit, a treacherous slope in the dancefloor and a toilet that would put the deep-diving Trainspotting scene to shame. It had a certain charm. 

That began a regular social calendar of nights there, many stretching into the mid-to-late morning, often courtesy of the fantastic Red Laser nights. Very heaven and all that. They eventually put in a bar at person height but the pit remained a place for all things unusual. It is now finally a bar, with seats and everything.

There was a point late last year when I thought the jig was up. We went to Red Laser and the Fear and Loathing-level nightmare of the toilets took on a scarier atmosphere; it was chock full of people not queuing for the loos, not even 'queuing for the loos' - it was awash with handheld ring lights and influencers gazing into their own navels. Looks like we're in bat country now.

Thankfully that seems to have been some weird aberration; maybe the circus was in town, maybe all things must pass, maybe I'm just getting too old (32). But I went back last weekend for Hyperdub presents… and it was like old times. No posers, no conceited ultra-white glow on the graffiti-laden loos, just lots of very friendly and chatty people and a very good lineup of DJs and a live performance. Let's hope The White Hotel never fails its MOT.

"Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years"

The Monro reopens on Duke Street

The Monro on Liverpool's Duke Street was meant to officially reopen at 4pm on Thursday (8 August), but doors were open for deliveries from 11am and the punters piled in and got their orders in, with good reason. I’d gladly spent all day in there as well. 

It's quite simply a beautiful space in my opinion, a living museum of that greatest of British institutions - the pub.  There's maidenheads above the bar, tiled floors, ceramics taking up any spare inch of space, apothecary glass cabinets with further curiosities, a ceiling that seems knackered but holds just fine, Guinness lightboxes, ‘Uncertain Smile’ by The The playing. It feels less like a refurb and more like the pub was having a long nap and has now woken up bleary-eyed and intact with a Guinness in mind.

I was in the courtyard having a cigarette and on two separate occasions had a guy peer round and, on catching my eye, say “just having a nose”. You could nose all afternoon, such is the cavernous nature, wealth of decoration and undoubtable charm to the place. 

Liverpool loves its pubs, much moreso I would say than Manchester's city centre. We're tending evermore towards the bougie end of things here, and while I wouldn't argue the restaurants are more generally of a better standard, England didn't invent restaurants, the pub is the power and the glory.

Here's Assistant Publisher Harley Young with her report back from a Five Guys Masterclass, Glamour Magazine's Empowerment Summit at Aviva Studios and a new menu at Lucky Cat

Do you want fries with that?

A Five Guys masterclass

The team at Five Guys invited me down for a masterclass in making their famous burgers, fries and shakes with the promise of getting to try some of the menu items afterwards, making it the second time in 26 years of living that I’d ever tasted food from the popular chain. Not because I didn’t like it, but because I’m a tight arse and I don’t like parting with my money when it comes to fast food. 

If, like me, you’re someone who’d rather spend a few quid on a few below average items from McDonald’s saver menu than spend over a tenner on a good quality beef burger from Five Guys then listen up - I’m about to change your mind.

Once me and Hayden were both donning the signature red uniform, we headed upstairs in the Arndale restaurant to the kitchen where the all important fries are made. Any avid Five Guys fans out there will know that the brand is more than generous with its portions of peanut oil-fried chips -  we were told this is intentional and it's a way of giving the customer great value for money. 

From locally sourced farms, the spuds are left on show out in the restaurant - partly to go with the brand's aesthetic and to show customers where their food comes from, partly because there’s no room for them anywhere other than on the restaurant floor. Once the fries are sliced down to size, they go through ‘fry calibration’; a process which checks that the quality is of a high standard across the board - with fresh produce it’s not as easy to be consistent, so the team have to do this multiple times each shift to ensure each batch of fries are as good as the next. 

Everything is prepped early in the morning, meaning super early starts for those on the opening shift, but super tasty food for the customers. You won’t hear the sound of freezer-burned pucks of semi-cooked meat hitting the grill here. The burgers and their toppings are ultra-fresh, with not a freezer in sight in any of the restaurants - just fridges. Speaking of toppings, customers can have up to 15 of them on their burger for free.

After weighing up the pros and cons, and tasting a double cheeseburger with pickles and a bacon milkshake, I don’t think I’ll be seeing those golden arches any time soon. I’ll be going to Jim, Matt, Chad, Ben and Tyler (the ‘five guys’ behind Five Guys if you hadn’t already clocked) for my big chain fast food fix.

Who run the world? 

GLAMOUR’s Empowerment Summit at Aviva Studios

Looking for a bit of inspiration, I attended Glamour’s Empowerment Summit at Aviva Studios. The event was held on a Saturday afternoon, making it a wholesome, educational start to my weekend. God knows I’ve needed one of those for a while. 

Being the first time the annual event took place in Manchester, Glamour really pulled out all the stops, including a star-studded lineup of powerful speakers, complimentary wellness drinks and a goodie bag with over £300-worth of beauty and skincare products for everyone in attendance. At £35 a ticket, it was well worth the money for just the insights, let alone the swag bag.

The lineup of speakers were as follows:

• GLAMOUR UK's Emily Maddick in conversation with Radio Broadcaster & TV Presenter Clara Amfo (one of my absolute idols)
•  Comedian & 2024 Paralympic Games Presenter Fats Timbo
• Content Creator & Presenter Ayamé
• GLAMOUR UK's Lucy Morgan in conversation with Samsung’s Deborah Hayes, Wellbeing Coach, Author and Podcaster Adrienne Adhami and Dr. Hazel Wallace.
• Actor (and all-round Mancunian legend) Michelle Keegan, interviewed by Glamour UK's Editor-in-Chief Deborah Joseph

Each talk varied in length and subject, looking at important topics on personal development like putting yourself first, ‘hacking’ your health, and living life fearlessly through new-found confidence. 

It was just the motivation I needed to get me out of a writing rut and assure me that I can be confident that I am capable of great things - both in my personal life and in my career as a journalist. I left feeling inspired, determined and, mostly, empowered to continue learning, making connections and trying new things.

If you have the chance to go to next year's Empowerment Summit, or a similar event in your area, I recommend doing so. It might just be the kick up the arse needed to catapult you into taking the steps towards bigger, better things. It certainly was for me.

As I Like It

Omakase menu at Gordon Ramsay’s Lucky Cat

Since opening on King Street in June last year, Gordon Ramsay’s Lucky Cat has joined the ever-growing number of restaurants serving sushi in the city. 

Offering high-end Japanese cuisine and Asian-inspired cocktails, the restaurant from the celebrity chef sits in the rather gorgeous building at 100 King Street; once The Midland Bank designed by Sir Edwin Lutyens in 1928 and opened in 1935. 

Making use of its original features, like the impressive bank vault underground which has now been converted into a rather show-stopping and unique private dining room, Lucky Cat is an undeniably beautiful restaurant.

After gawping at the architecture, I took my seat at the bar ready to experience the Omakase menu which I’d been invited down to try. Omakase translates to ‘I’ll leave it up to you’, giving the sushi chef of the restaurant the chance to do as they please with the cuts of fish available to them. A ‘chef’s choice’ menu if you will. During my visit, it was chef Jerome who would be doing the choosing. 

The eight-course menu is well paced - you don’t feel rushed or like you’re waiting an awfully long time for your next dish. Jerome has timed the Omakase menu down to a fine art and continued to work his magic, carefully slicing the slabs of dry aged fish and neatly arranging them on carefully shaped pockets of sticky rice ready for our nigiri selection. Our final piece of nigiri came in the form of A5 wagyu glazed with soy then lightly blow torched before being topped with caviar and shavings of fresh truffle.  

Jerome kindly gave us a tour of the restaurant, showing off the venue from an aerial view and, when we returned to our barstool seats, our dessert was ready and waiting for us. Chocolate ‘tofu’ which we were told was “not really tofu” but a combination of sweet elements like dulce de leche, stem ginger, a malt crisp and chocolate in a multitude of ways. 

At £75 per person, this well-paced, well-explained menu is well worth the money. Paired with the knowledge of Jerome and his team, it adds an air of flair and sophistication to an already pleasant meal.

And finally Editor-at-Large Jonathan Schofield gives his thoughts from his travels about the city

Stupidity defined

In the courts and judgement came crashing down on the nihilistic rioters following the death of three little girls in Southport and the misinformation following that. Apparently a very intelligent gentleman punched on the glass of the dock in Manchester and called the judge a ‘fat cunt’. Wise move. 

He was back in the court in the afternoon for contempt. Two charges for the price of one. Meanwhile another rioter in Stockport ranted for 25 minutes outside a hotel hosting asylum seekers, shouting racial hatred and being abusive and violent. He filmed it and put it on his YouTube Channel with the line, “If you don’t fucking like it, report me.” It was reported and he was arrested and brought to court. Clever lot, aren’t they?

Taxi drivers stop

Conversation with a Canadian tourist on Saturday. “Is Manchester safe?” 

“Yes, as a guide I’ve taken thousands and thousands of people around for twenty-five years and nothing has ever happened to any of my guests, touch wood. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just I got a taxi from the airport and the driver was pointing out all the places people had been shot or attacked or assaulted on the way into the city.”

(Sigh)

“Yeah they do that because they know nothing about the city, he could have been telling you about the 25 Nobel laureates from here and a thousand other things that are good about Manchester but for some reason people and cabbies obsess about crime.”

“Same in Toronto I suppose. So this a safe city?” 

“Very.” 

(Pause) 

“Oh, although today there’s a far-right rally and a counter-protest, but it’s a one-off. I think, I hope.”

So next week I’m going to write on Confidentials.com a piece called ten tips for taxi drivers about saying good things to tourists and then I’m going down to the airport and giving printouts to the cabbies. Fellas, on message eh, on message.

Strange food indeed

In Sale at Oystercatcher and it just had to be tried. A Bloody Mary Oyster. Classic Bloody Mary, all the usual ingredients vodka, tomato juice, lemon, pepper and so on. Oh and a fresh oyster. All in a shot glass. Down in one, down in one, down in one. Was it tasty, was it nice? Not sure. Oysters are a personal obsession but the liquid with the shellfish was peculiar in the extreme. The flesh was almost an intrusion, for some reason it was like finding an eyeball in a drink and chewing on it. Really weird. Maybe I didn’t like it. But I’m glad I tried it.

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