WHAT'S the most fun you can have in Manchester?
Naturally, we spend the first five to ten minutes playing army dress-up
Sitting back with a bottle of beer after spraying WD40 on all the smooth edges in Cathedral Gardens, is certainly up there. As is driving through the Christmas Markets on a Sunday in a snow plough, or running into The Millstone and pinching the karaoke machine.
Sadly most of these will get you either nicked or filled-in.
The actual 'most fun thing to do' in the whole of Manchester is to be handed a mountain of problems and locked in a room for an hour with no booze, no TV and definitely no game Russian supermodels. Sounds crap, eh?
Well, actually, it's brilliant. Trip Advisor says so, it's #1. And they're never wrong. Everyone knows the Plaza Indian in Ashton-under-Lyne is the best restaurant in the North West, right?
So here we are, Team Confidential on Brazennose Street, perhaps Manchester city centre's most innocuous pathway, it's dullness only punctuated momentarily by the unusual sight of Abe Lincoln. The frontage to Breakout Manchester by Albert Square is similarly unremarkable, what goes on inside, however, is anything but.
We three work 'mates' (you know.. the type you wouldn't usually settle for except everyone else in the office is either your boss, a girl or a mentalist) arrive and are promptly sat down and read the riot act, 'no kicking doors down', 'no climbing on top of wardrobes' and 'no forcing locks open'.
You see, Breakout Manchester, billed as a 'live escape room experience', is all about using your loaf; cunning, common sense, lateral thinking and a fair bit of sleuthing (we're good at that). There's seven rooms here, all of varying difficulties (from three to five stars) and themes; from virus outbreaks to murder mysteries and a curious sounding 'Madchester time warp' game. A melon-twister, we imagine.
We're ushered through into 'Sabotage' - one of Breakout's top head-scratchers. Our aim? To penetrate enemy territory, work our way through three rooms by solving a myriad of puzzles and brain-teasers, find a code, punch it in, stop a missile strike that threatens to throw the entire world into a nuclear winter and make it out before they release the Balrog.
Naturally, we spend the first five to ten minutes playing army dress-up. We then get to work. 50 minutes left...
A rabble of lazy and feeble security personal have left their mess hall in a hurry, leaving a trail of connected clues and odd red herrings to keep you on your toes. There's newspapers, board games, personal files, scribbled notes, rucksacks and padlocked cabinets. We each get to work on separate clues to save time. Some prove fruitful, others are pish. Look up there? No. Behind that? No. Under there? Yes.
Ok, we're into the second room. It's dark. Flashing lights. 27 minutes remaining. We're now aware of the time and slightly more frantic because of it. First clue solved. But the next proves impossible. We've missed something. 15 minutes remaining. A note flashes across a TV screen in the front room. A hint. Ah of courseeeee... 'you wally!'
Ok stick that in the phone, what's that? Write it down. Write it backwards. Punch it in. We're through. 9 minutes remaining. Sweating. There's the computer. How do we log in? Try that. No. That one. Missles Activated. Bugger. This? We're in. 4 minutes. Sweating more. The code? The code! Try the light. Ok jot this down in sequence... 2 minutes... Pouring. Right punch it in. Get in! 1 minute. Ok how do we get out? A chink of light. A hatch. 30 seconds... On your knees... Bundle through... bundle... bundle...
Out. 9 seconds to spare. Sodden. Fizzing.
We shuffle back into the waiting room, where the sight of three sweaty men, aged 29, 28 and 26, in Soviet Ushankas, camoflage and carrying plastic toy rifles causes a few titters.
Doesn't everybody dress-up?
'No, most get on with the game.'
Ah.
We dress-down and trot around the corner to Duttons pub where we dissect the game over an ale. Is this really the most fun thing to do in Manchester? Perhaps... unless you've got a can of WD40.
Book your game at Breakout Manchester now.
14a Brazennose Street, Manchester, M2 6LW. 0161 839 8012.
Email: hello@breakoutmanchester.com