SleuthSleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @mcrsleuth
Ian Brown Guided Tours
It's good to see that Viz have decided to follow in Confidential's footsteps and offer guided tours - click here for some tours from Confidential this weekend. But they've trumped us. Instead of some harmless drudge of a tour guide taking people around they've got the real Mancunian deal. Ladies and gentlemen we give you Manchester tours by Ian Brown, described as 'another exclusive in the Manchester walks series, for anyone not from round 'ere'. Apparently Mr Brown needs to supplement his income after nobody much turned up for the Heaton Park gigs, or something like that. Anyway Sleuth is sure this is a serious idea. Honestly, he's sure it is.
Ian Brown tours
Ask to move into King Street
There are rumours all over the place about 'Italian' restaurant chain Ask moving into the Lloyd's Bank on King Street.
Crow was on the head hereSleuth went digging and ended up chatting to a handsome crow perched on the top of Minerva's head - the sculpture of Minerva that is.
Apparently the grand old and very elaborate bank has planning permission for two restaurants and also is about to get a glorious polish externally to reveal its white Portland stone splendours.
But there's a problem.
Lloyds bank were supposed to move into a more consumer friendly unit on Market Street - just as HSBC moved from King Street to St Ann's Square - but the bank didn't move quickly enough and were outpaced by Adidas with their fleet-footed trainers. So Lloyds finds itself stranded in King Street and the restaurants backed up behind them.
To get things moving might be a big ask. Or maybe a big Ask.
Sleuth would like to thank that talkative crow for the info though.
Lloyds Bank, to get a clean
Woman eaten by pigeons finds shelter
Sleuth was in St Ann's Square and saw a woman being attacked by pigeons - see the main picture above. Fortunately she used the stiff-upper-lipped Brits weapon of choice. No gun-totting Texan this, no, our lady simply opened her umbrella and hey presto, pigeon and lady were friends again. Especially when she fed the flying rats some handy seed. Sleuth loves eccentrics such as this and hopes there isn't a dodgy city byelaw somewhere which can get her thrown in the slammer.
The French love McDonalds: Fact
Our Gallic neighbours make great play of not appreciating the influence of America. Many writers and politicians over the Channel have commented on how the US-effect waters down their natural cultural superiority. Especially with food. So Sleuth was surprised to see - again in St Ann's Square - several French business people with bags and bags of McDonalds, loads of the stuff. Sacre Bleu! La Patrimonie! (Sleuth knew they were French by the strings of onions round their necks and the fact they were all talking French to each other.)
Oooh la la la Big Mac
Shrinking the goalposts
You couldn't make this up but the Manchester Confidential sponsored u16 Oswald Road team (ORJFC) turned up for pre-season training at Chorlton Park and began to doubt their sanity. The parkies had put on one end of the pitch the standard eight foot high posts, and at the other end posts intended for kiddies, about a third less in overall size. It was so obvious a mistake, you could be forgiven for thinking it was a prank.
Still, Sleuth's not sure how other managers are going to take the new ORJFC rule of teams not swapping sides at half time, and the home team always playing towards the larger net. It's called home advantage right?
Sleuth is also campaigning for every jobsworth politician to start, during every future crisis, stating that the 'opposition have shrunk the goalposts'. That old one about 'moving the goalposts' is so last season.
This is the right size, one at the other end is tiny
Sleuth's Refusal To Repeat Any Chorlton Cliches About Basket-weaving Vegetarians
A fine Manchester vegetarian restaurant is moving into a second site. Restaurant 1847 (named for the year the Vegetarian Society was formed) is presently in the city centre on Booth Street but is opening a second site on Manchester Road in Chorlton-cum-Meatfree. Sleuth, Unicorn Grocery and Lee Frost from Frost the Butchers all wish it the best of luck. One thing though. What is a vegetarian bar?
Vegetarian Kitchen and Bar
