The Club Hotel and Spa, Bohemia and St Helier

How far is far enough from home to be on holiday? 

Trips to the county next door have their perks, but everything from road signs to regional accents can be a stark reminder that your own house is only an hour or two away, where daily life lives. 

But a four hour flight to another continent for a weekend can seem excessive and exhausting, so where’s the middle ground? 

I would say it’s an hour’s flight from Manchester, in the very Breton yet very British surrounds of St Helier. 

I’d never been to Jersey before, and didn’t know a great deal about it outside of the usual cliches about wealth, TV detectives and it being ‘a bit of both’ when it comes to the cultural crossover of Britain and France. 

I was kindly invited to stay at The Club Hotel and Spa, dine at the Michelin-starred Bohemia restaurant and explore St Helier over a weekend, so gladly took the opportunity to get to know this charming Channel Island.

Like much of St Helier, The Hotel Club and Spa is classy without the need to overstate things; no fur coat needed, it’s simply comfortable in its own well-tailored clothes. The hotel itself is comforting in its decoration while still lending that slight buzz of the high life. 

The staff are friendly, easygoing and attentive to whatever question or query you may have; when we were greeted on arrival by Barbara she fixed every date and detail with the ease of a seasoned professional, and from that moment until we left for the airport two days later I felt like a minor royal.

The bedroom suites are smart and spacious, with all the comforts you would expect and more for a weekend away. It’s ideal for the sort of balance of the luxurious and the logistical; somewhere to relax with a drink from the mini bar while you dress for dinner, or have an afternoon snooze before an evening out in St Helier, or simply somewhere to look forward to returning to after a long day. 

We did the former, enjoying a drink while dressing for dinner that evening at the Michelin-starred Bohemia, where a signature tasting menu from head chef Callum Graham, along with a wine pairing, awaited us.

The decor of Bohemia is a combination of two things I particularly enjoy; the classy and calm atmosphere of a hotel bar, where the world outside seems to dissolve away and time slows down, and the intimate ambience of an exquisitely laid restaurant table under a soft light, where the four corners of your table become a world of their own for a while.

The signature tasting menu was laid in front of us, and I felt that particular joy you get when you know you don’t have to choose, you can simply let the evening ebb and flow and wash over you as each course and accompanying glass of wine arrives. Choice is a lovely thing, but sometimes the absence of choice is even lovelier.

I’m normally one to make sure I don’t eat too much bread when it’s on the table, but there was no chance I could’ve passed up a beautifully fresh baked roll with Bordier seaweed butter. It’s not like I’d be able to make it at home. 

Then the procession began, starting with la chasse farm tomato salad with burrata, nasturtium, yellow tomato and scotch bonnet sorbet, along with a glass of Clos Saint-Florent Samur 2020. An artful and dainty arrangement, it was truly testament to the joy of local ingredients being brought together into a simple and subtle dish.

Next was perhaps my personal favourite; Jersey white crab meat and brown crab almond pannacotta with grape and verjus. This was a gorgeous plate of food, such a simple execution of an ingredient that really does need the subtlest treatment to allow it to truly sing. The crab alone would have been fantastic, but with a slightly fruity addition from the grape this combined in a way I wasn’t expecting, and loved. 

It was accompanied by a 2022 Pazo Senorans Albarino that I could’ve happily drank all evening.

We continued with an ingredient I’m reasonably sure I’ve never had before, roasted veal sweetbreads with butternut and parmesan puree, cacao nibs, toasted pumpkin seeds and chicken jus. Again, the central ingredient of the dish was handled with care given towards its defining notes, and then accompanied by a constellation of delicately chosen flavours in pumpkin, cacao and a rich poultry jus. 

A rather heavy metal-sounding chenin blanc-leaning glass of Orbitofrontal Cortex 2021 from South Africa was served, and while the name and the label may suggest a moshpit, the wine was a ballet of balanced notes.

For main course it was roasted saddle of Welsh lamb, barbequed merguez, aubergine and cumin, baba ganoush, Jersey yoghurt and romesco with lamb jus. I would say the only cuisine that keeps up with how the British Isles handles lamb is the middle east, and the interplay of the pink and perfectly crisped lamb with the likes of cumin and yoghurt was a wise decision executed very well.

Add to that a glass of Chateau Pineraie Cahors Malbec 2020 and I’m not really sure what more you could possibly want. Dessert I guess. Oh go on, then. If I must.

There was the option of a cheese course as well, which we politely declined. Not because it didn’t look fantastic, but because you would’ve had to roll me out of the place if I’d had that as well as dessert. Although the epoisses was mightily tempting. I did however take a picture for the ogling eyes of our dear readers.

Dessert was caramelised pear and mascarpone cremeux with fresh pear, roasted hazelnut and white balsamic; quite simply the picture of the sort of dessert people will chastise themselves for having, but also for not having. It was the perfect example of why dessert chefs are craftsmen like any other station in the kitchen, arranged with delicate appreciation of not only the space on the plate, but the space in your stomach. 

A dessert wine is something of a rare occurrence, so the opportunity for a glass of Château Nauton Sauternes 2020 was hardly going to be passed up. I had room for nothing else, that is until the madeleine arrived, which of course had to be eaten.

All in all it's the likes of Bohemia, from its look and staff to its atmosphere and, most importantly, its menus that make the decision to splash out a little bit make a lot of sense. Its entire purpose is to provide you with a dining experience that you long remember, and it wasn’t hard for me to trawl back through my mind to remember what a delightful experience this was. How could I forget?

I went for a stroll after dinner into St Helier to see what the atmosphere was like in the evenings, and was pleased to discover a bustling but relaxed buzz about the place. 

I followed the high streets down to the town square, and found the ideal pub you picture in your mind when you’re hoping that somewhere like St Helier will transport you into the past; The Pierson. 

To have a gorgeously English-feeling pub on the decidedly more European style and ambience of St Helier town square is the sort of pleasure that really I’d imagine only Jersey could deliver. I sat with a pint of Guinness until they called close, and then sauntered through the emptying and quiet streets back to The Club Hotel for a much needed sleep.

Saturday 

We went down to the bright and comfortable breakfast room for about 9am and were treated to a varied choice; full English breakfast, eggs benedict, royale or otherwise, fruits and cereals and lovely strong espresso. 

With breakfast settled, it was time to take advantage of the hotel’s spa and pool facilities.

Nestled down in the basement of the hotel, it’s an ideal setting for a sense of escape and relaxation. The pool is overlooked by a large screen showing calming images of natural scenes and pebble-style seats sit poolside. 

With sauna rooms to the side and pristine treatment rooms at your disposal, you can emerge back in the lobby renewed, refreshed and relaxed.

We went for a walk into St Helier before lunch, taking in the significantly brighter and sunnier climate than the north of England regularly affords us, and sat down outside a pub on one of the many pedestrianised high streets. Shopkeepers stood outside and watched the world go by, families were on afternoons out, and the town had the gentle buzz of a Saturday afternoon.

The buildings are certainly distinct from those in England, and catch a low autumnal sun in a very pleasing way, feeling like a different place in the world but with the familiar comfort of something close to home. With our appetites sufficiently piqued, it was back to Bohemia for lunch at the bar restaurant.

The bar side of Bohemia is a refreshingly relaxed affair, with banquettes, low tables and comforting lighting lending themselves well to the more bistro-leaning menu. We took a seat by the windows and settled in for a lengthy, relaxing lunch. 

I started with three oysters and mignonette before the steak bavette with bearnaise sauce and chips, while Helen chose the scallops with apple followed by sea bream. It was the perfect sort of lunch that means you don’t really require dinner later on, an excuse to while the afternoon away with a bottle of wine and idle conversation. 

I then went for that aforementioned afternoon snooze and before we went into the town centre for a pint at the Cock and Bottle and a peek at the nightlife before an early bedtime.

Sunday 

There was just enough time on Sunday to go for a wander into the town, where the museum and art gallery sit by a boules patch and several pubs, namely the charming and slightly anachronistic Troubadour. 

When walking down to that side of town I saw the first sign of real, conspicuous wealth, and even then it was a classy and completely understandable purchase; a bit of research tells me it was a Ferrari 365 GT4, a beautiful machine worn lightly, very much in line with its surroundings.

We arrived back at Club Hotel and Spa ahead of the taxi to the airport, and even with a noticeable turnaround of new guests clearly in that day, there was none of the mad bustle and frantic nature of a hotel that perhaps doesn’t prepare. 

The Club Hotel and Spa is so clearly that swan on serene waters; a beautiful and calm presence, lovely to look at, and with so much work going on underneath to make that serenity seem effortless. I never once saw any staff break a sweat and that is surely testament to their skill and professionalism and the hotel’s discerning approach to keeping high standards. 

After three days staying at The Club Hotel and Spa I felt a few things; firstly, that I’d been on holiday without the usual stress and upheaval. Secondly, that I had experienced a hotel and Michelin-starred restaurant not only operating at the top of its game but doing it so seemingly with ease. 

And lastly, that I’d come to understand a bit more about St Helier, Jersey and this beautiful island far flung off the coast of England. Close enough to home but still a holiday, and enough of a different world that it has a charm all of its own.

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