SHOPPING, as the cliché goes, can be a daunting task for men. The thought of having to trawl through all those frightening rails of clothing in shop after shop can be enough to send a man into panic. Shopping online can be even worse, where consumers are presented with page after page of bad style decisions waiting to be made by fledgeling style conscious males.
Or at least that’s how the people behind Style Pilot see things. Luckily though, they’ve created a cure to their own disease – Style Pilot.
They call it ‘a personal style engine for men,’ and believe it’s just the tonic men have been yearning for in their quest towards preventing a life of retail fashion torment.
"Style Pilot is without doubt one of the most patronising and pointless websites I’ve ever come across."
Exclusively for men (because women are good at shopping, aren’t they?) Style Pilot is designed to help men navigate the treacherous world of online fashion, and discover styles and items that suit their ‘style DNA.’
Style Pilot
Simply sign up for an account, enter your vitals (height, body shape, hair colour, eye colour, and skin shade), and watch the masters go to work.
The site finds clothes to suit you by recommending items that can then be bought. Everything is sorted through a clever menu system, which can pick outfits for any occasion. Click ‘relaxed dinner party’ from the drop down menu for example, and begin to build an outfit from the selections provided.
This all sounds good in theory, even if you ignore the rather loose rationale behind picking shirts based on your eye colour, but in reality it offers no more comfort to the intimated online male shopper than any other site with a broad range does.
For example, recommended to me for ‘home/relaxed wear’ are 2,380 different t-shirts, 690 different sweatshirts, and 1,314 different pairs of shoes. I’m supposed to be an indecisive, fashion faux pas liable, shopping imbecile aren’t I? This is an absolute minefield.
Worse than the overwhelming selection on offer to supposedly easily overwhelmed shoppers, is the lack of faith you’ll quickly develop in the theory behind the whole ‘style DNA’ identifying process.
Some of the items it was throwing up just weren’t me at all, and after five minutes of browsing I quickly become suspicious about the whole notion of hair and eye colour being pivotal aspects of the style choices I’m making altogether.
Kiss goodbye to fashion faux pas
But Style Pilot isn’t just about building outfits to buy online. There’s also style tips and ‘how to wear’ guides for those looking to brush up on the essentials, and an extensive style Q&A section.
There’s no dancing around the issue here. The Q&A gives hard, honest advice covering all the biggest and most contemporary burning issues on any fashionista’s mind.
How can I start a collection of ties?
When/where is it acceptable to have a monogram on clothes?
I went to H&M lately to buy new underwear but got confused with all the different types and comic prints. What is the best underwear to wear?
All of these topics are duly tackled by the experts.
"I’m supposed to be an indecisive, fashion faux pas liable, shopping imbecile aren’t I?"
Style Pilot is without doubt one of the most patronising and pointless websites I’ve ever come across.
Not only does it not achieve its mission of providing streamlined, expert clothing suggestions for male shoppers, but it is so outdated and clichéd that most of the advice is either worthless, shallow, misogynistic, and often all three.
I’ll leave you with an extract from the Q&A that sums up Style Pilot much better than any description I can muster. Bite your lip.
Q: My girlfriend lately mentioned that she liked some friend's bum since it is so 'meaty' as she put it. I took this as a hint, since my buttocks are rather flat. Is there a way I could impress her on the next date?
A: Make sure your underpants have a proper fit and are of a thick texture and wear straight leg trousers on top. Go with low waist, pleated, flat front trousers and take the ones with back pockets as they will add to volume.
You can follow David on Twitter @DavidPMcCourt
