SLEUTH has recently discovered a series of songs for children discovered in an old chest at the bottom of some road-workings on the Mancunian Way.
These contain very ancient songs from Manchester's present - and future.
They seem relevant (click here) but then again those old buggers were wise weren't they?
This is the first of these catchy refrains with instructions in italics for those children who'd like to act out the verses.
The Wheels on the Bus
The wheels on the bus go round and round
Round and round, round and round
The wheels on the bus go round and round
Until they reach Deansgate.
Roll hands over each other
The wheels on the bus grind to a halt,
Grind to a halt, grind to a halt
The wheels on the bus grind to a halt
All through the town.
Hold hand up in stop sign
The horn on the bus goes, "Beep, beep, beep,
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep."
The horn on the bus goes "Beep, beep, beep"
All through the town.
Pretend to honk horn
The diesel on the bus goes, "Glug, glug, glug,
Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug."
The diesel on the bus goes "Glug, glug, glug"
All through the town.
Pretend to fill tank using pointerfinger as gas nozzle
The workers in the cars go, "Wah, wah, wah!
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!"
The workers in the cars go, "Wah, wah, wah!"
All through the town.
Fisted hands in front of eyes and rub them like a baby crying
The shoppers in the cars go, "Wah, wah, wah!
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!"
The shoppers in the cars go, "Wah, wah, wah!"
All through the town.
Hold hands up as though full of shopping bags and quiver gently
The people on the bus say, "Forget coming here,
Forget coming here, forget coming here"
The people on the bus say, "Forget coming here."
All through the town.
Stamp your feet, scowl and riot (Eh...what are you on about? ED)
The money in the Trafford Centre goes, clink, clink, clink,
Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink.
The money in the Trafford Centre goes, clink, clink, clink.
All through the town.
Pretend to design a massive marble shopping centre shaped like a wedding cake (And how do you pretend to do that? Ed)
The traffic chiefs shout “We are right,
We are right, we are right.”
The traffic chiefs shout, “We are right.”
All through the town.
Cover eyes with hands on 'right' and uncover them on 'town'.
The traffic chiefs shout, “Don’t come through,
You must go round, you must go round.”
The traffic chiefs shout, “You must go round....”
But...
Er...
Nobody can hear them...
Because it’s all closed down, all closed down,
All closed down, all closed down.
Coming soon: Ring-a-Roadies, Old King Bernstein, Puff the Magic Infrastructure Solution.
Sleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @Sleuth
