SleuthSleuth is a sideways glance at the city every week, it's the truth, but Sleuth's truth. He's several people all at once. We give £25 for every story/rumour and piece of absurdity you find for us to publish. Sleuth sometimes even gets serious. We ask for the money back if any legal action follows. Follow Sleuth on twitter @mcrsleuth
Sleuth's Charitable Idea: NO-vember
Next year let's reform Movember thinks Sleuth - who finds it hard to grow stubble let alone a full beard. Let's do NO-vember when those with facial hair shave it all off. Come on all you Santas, let's see your face.
Sleuth And Another Man With A Beard
Sleuth was walking down Quay Street this week and saw a tall man outside The Opera House with a beard - the latter probably nothing to do with Movember. He was surrounded by autograph hunters with steely determination in their eyes, stubby pencils in their hands and anoraks on their backs. The man looked scared. He also looked familiar despite his outlandish garb. Turns out it was David Hasselhoff. He's going to be Captain Hook in Peter Pan. Outside the Opera House he looked like he wanted to be in Never Never Land right then. Or at least chasing Pamela Anderson down a beach back in the day.
Hassled-hoff
Sleuth And The Unfortunately Timed Press Trip
So a press trip was offered, the usual thing, a hosted visit of a foreign city with lots of tours and meals arranged. The editor couldn't go so he tried to find someone else. The new placement lad was game and flew out early on Thursday. The destination was Tel Aviv. "What's he covering?" the editor was asked in the Cornerhouse bar. "His head," said a joker nearby.
Sleuth's Strange Job Of The Week
Sleuth wanted leather gloves. He went to the quirky shop Wippell and Company in Albert Square. Sticks, umbrellas, hats, ties, gloves and shirts. He could have been in 1953. In a room at the back it gets a bit strange. This is where Christian sects stock up on cassocks, robes and all manner of ecclesiastical paraphernalia. Sleuth asked about the manager who he knows. The lady behind the counter said, "He's off today". And then went on to say how Chris Holden had been ordained as a Church of England vicar. "Is he the only shop managing vicar in Manchester," Sleuth mused. "Possibly," she said.
Sleuth's Dish Of The Week
Sleuth was walking past Abode Hotel this week. He felt peckish. He wanted something British and hearty. In the MC Grill in the Hotel there was a dish fit for a king from chef Bryn Evans. Ox cheeks suet pudding with Lancashire veg. It had a hotel price of £14.95 and was packed with meat contained within the smooth weight of a luscious suet case. The vegatables were perfect. The gravy should have been in a little jug on the side, but that was a minor quibble. Sleuth closed his eyes, munched and in his mind's eye found himself walking through Pennine valleys in autumn, the trees like fireworks in the valley woods.
Ox cheek suet
Sleuth's Most Expensive Offer Of The Week
Sleuth gets food offers sent from all over. This week he got one from the famous Fat Duck in Bray. It said 'This year for the first time we celebrate with a Christmas lunch menu. Opening on the 2nd, 9th and 16th of December The Fat Duck will offer a unique Christmas experience designed by chef Heston Blumenthal. For £300 per person – excluding drinks and service charge - diners will be delighted with brand new dishes such as 'Christmas Tree', 'Savoury Lollies', 'Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh' and 'Taking the Piss'. The latter is a huge bill made from rhubarb'. Sleuth might be fibbing about the one dish listed here.
Sleuth's Historical Madman Of The Week
The editor interviewed Lucy Powell, the new Manchester Central MP before her election and put the interview up this week - click here. The consitituency was created in 1974. But Sleuth wonders whether Bill Boaks, was the world's worst candidate ever. He stood in the 1979 General Election in Manchester Central, on the ridiculous ticket of 'Democratic Monarchist, Public Safety, White Resident'. He got 12 votes. Sleuth reckons that probably wasn't even all his family.
Sleuth's Depressing Stat Of The Week
Lucy Powell became Manchester's first female Labour MP on Thursday night. The turnout was 18.4%. The lowest in any Parliamentary election since WWII.
Powell said: "There's been a really clear message coming out of Manchester Central tonight - a rejection of what this government is doing: targeting Manchester and people in some of the poorest, hardest working communities."
Sleuth says, "There's been a really clear message coming out of Manchester Central - a rejection of democracy. And this on the site of The Peterloo Massacre, the symbol of the battle for democracy and where people died to gain the right to vote."
The man at the back is saying, "Forget it, pack up, there's no point."
Sleuth's Clock Campaign Of The Week
Sleuth wants to know why the Royal Exchange clock turns but always gives the wrong time. Can somebody get on to this at the Royal Exchange? Twice Sleuth has been late for champagne cocktail events at Harvey Nichols.
Permanently slow clock
Sleuth, United, Tom Cleverley And Mr Smalling
The top picture here shows Luke Bainbridge interviewing Tom Cleverley and Chris Smalling during the Made of Manchester event at the Museum of Science and Industry (MOSI) this week. The occasion was about Nike launching their new 'Gingham' United collection, and also a way for United to say 'Hey we're just as woven into the fabric (literally in this case) of Manchester as our light blue rivals'.
23-year-old Cleverley seemed an intelligent and thoughtful lad, talking about how at 'United, you're taught to be humble'. 22-year-old Smalling wasn't quite on-message, when asked about Manchester, the Londoner said, he liked it because when he arrived a couple of years ago he found shops such as 'Harvey Nichols and Selfridges'. Very Manchester indeed.
Sleuth feels that all young players in both United and City need a damn good guided tour when they arrive - of course delivered by Sleuth - so they get to know a little bit about the more individual parts of Manchester. Sleuth's rates are reasonable.
Gingham
Fancy Dan boots
Sleuth And The Doctor Of Minimalist Film Reviews
Regular Cornerhouse goer Rob is the University of Manchester's Professor of Brevity. Every week people gather from far and wide to hear his reviews of the latest films and judge whether they should watch them.
This week he was examining the current box office phenomenon that is James Bond.
"Skyfall?" said Rob. "More like Landfill."
