THE glamour days of the great ocean-going palace is long over: let's face it, your modern day cruise ship looks more like a floating block of flats dropped next to the Malmaison.
And when it comes to doling out dosh to our art galleries and museums, government largesse is also a faint memory.
So it's not looking good if you are a museum specialising in the sea and yearning for a £50,000 model of a ship that was once the biggest and fastest in the world.
Over to you, the people.
A spectacular model of Cunard's RMS Mauretania is to be auctioned on Tuesday 12 May, expected to fetch up to £50,000.
It's the original 12ft-long beast, detailed, hand-crafted and more than 100 years old. It was made to celebrate RMS Mauretania’s launch in 1906 and it is being sold by the people who built it, Swan Hunter.
National Museums Liverpool, which is just about keeping its own head above water after savage Government cuts, wants it so much for the Merseyside Maritime Museum that it has opened a public fund-raising campaign to bring the model “home to Liverpool”.
Janet Dugdale, director of Merseyside Maritime Museum, said: “It would be absolutely fantastic if we were able to purchase the model at auction, particularly ahead of this year’s fantastic celebrations marking 175 years of Cunard’s transatlantic crossings.
“It is important to bring it home, even more so as we prepare to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Lusitania (Mauretania's sister ship), on 7 May.”
But, she added: “We cannot do it alone. We are appealing to the public to help us with our fund-raising target. This is your chance to share in a piece of history and see it preserved in Merseyside Maritime Museum for us all to enjoy. I believe that we can achieve this together.”
Ms Dugdale went on: “We have already identified a space in the Museum to display the model.”
Awww.
Cunard is celebrating its 175th birthday in Liverpool, its birthplace, next month.
The city is set to come to a standstill as more than a million people descend over the Spring Bank Holiday (May 23-25) and no expense has been spared as it sails its three modern flagships, The Queens Mary, Elizabeth and Victoria up the river in a history-making event of “international significance”>
And you never know, do you? Maybe Cunard will cough up a donation to the fund to bring its glorious Maury back to the place it calls its “spiritual home”. Or even the lot.
£50,000? Drop in the ocean innit, Skipper?
A Liverpool ship through and through
RMS Mauretania was a Cunard liner, and the sister ship to the Lusitania. She was the fastest ship travelling between Liverpool and New York for 22 years, and her crew were drawn from the streets around Liverpool’s waterfront communities. The ship accommodated more than 2,000 people and weighed more than 31,000 tons.
As part of Cunard's deal with the government, RMS Mauretania was made available to the Armed Forces in times of national emergency.
During the First World War, following the sinking of the Lusitania in May 1915, RMS Mauretania was returned to wartime service. As part of these duties, the ship was used to transport troops during the Gallipoli Campaign before being turned into a hospital ship.
She resumed commercial passages in 1919, sailing from Southampton to New York via Cherbourg. In 1922 she broke her pre-war transatlantic record for the fastest crossing, her average speed above 26 knots.
The men and women who worked at sea identified with these ships strongly, and they created much of the character of the city today
In 1934 she made her final passenger voyage before being laid up in Glasgow following the merger of Cunard and White Star Lines. She was sold for scrap the following year.
Museum curator Janet Dugdale says: “The Mauretania was a Liverpool ship through and through. Known affectionately as ‘Maury’, she was a familiar sight on the Liverpool landing stage alongside sister ship the ‘Lucy’, or Lusitania. The men and women who worked at sea identified with these ships strongly, and they created much of the character of the city today."
The wooden replica was loaned by Swan Hunter, the company that built both ships for cruise line firm Cunard, to the Science Museum in London in 1938.
The institution displayed it in their Shipping Gallery which was closed in 2012 and the model was removed and put into storage.
NML says that if it does not reach the level of funding required to fund the purchase of the Mauretania model, all donations will be invested into Merseyside Maritime Museum and developing its displays.
To find out more, including how to donate, go here