YOU don't have to be lupine to work here, but it helps. As does being British, as does a minimum of 60,000 hairs on your face. Oh, except for beards.
'The applicant must be a genuine wolf person'
And while it's not every day you see a vacancy for a "Wolf Boy/Girl" on a Government website (insert wry political comment here), the latest Job Centre Plus advert purports to desperately seek just that.
The Circus of Horrors company claims it is looking for a genuine werewolf-alike to feature in its upcoming show, The Curse of the Devil Doll, which is heading to Liverpool later this month.
But the devil is not so much in the doll as in the detail.
Gary Stretch: Clue is in the name
A Liverpool Empire press statement says: "The outrageous show, which stormed into the finals of Britain's Got Talent, have lined up a Wolf Boy from Mexico but have come across new government legislation that stipulates that all jobs must be advertised in the UK on websites, and through other mediums including with Job Centre Plus."
Time for a PR puff.
A quick google search shows that the so-called Mexican "Wolf Boy", Jesus 'Chuy' Aceves, was performing the length Blighty with Circus of Horrors before the Christmas break.
And it turns out he will do again.
An equally quick call to Circus of Horrors confirms that there is no danger of their folicly endowed star not performing. He is flying in from south of the border as we speak, Confidential was told, he has got all his relevant paperwork and his toothbrush - if not his Bic razor.
So why all this?
The show’s creator, Dr John Haze, told the press release: “We are pretty sure there are not any wolf boys or girls in the UK but we still have to advertise the job over here, the thing is the applicant must be a genuine wolf person."
The Government-backed ad, for the somwhat politically incorrect “Wolf Boy/Wolf Girl”, states that "people with beards or wearing masks will not be accepted, although a woman with a beard may be considered under different job opportunities.
"All applicants must have a minimum of 60,000 hairs growing on their face, linking up with the hairline. Hair on the head is not included in this specification."
The gig would run from now until March 23 at a variety of UK venues.
Jesus
Senor Aceves, above, has a rare condition known as hypertrichosis and, as far as Circus of Horrors knows, there is nobody in the UK with the condition - none looking at the DirectGov website who can do nostril tricks with spoons anyway.
But they'll never say never. In a touching display of employer loyalty, Dr Haze says they would be very glad to save a few bob on airfares from Mexico in the unlikely event that any English performer comes knocking.
Surely Liverpool can drum up another gringo star.
(Where this is all going: Circus of Horrors will be performing at the Liverpool Empire on Sunday 20 January. Tickets here from a mere tenner).
