Killing Kittens? In a party? What sort of sick world is this?
Calm down, people, this has nothing to do with killing cats, although there is plenty of curiosity surrounding the party that’s launching in Liverpool this weekend.
Not to mention plenty of pu…
…That’s enough!
Well they started it.
Quite. But Killing Kittens is named after the popular internet meme that goes every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.
WTF? Is that true?
No, although in Northern Ireland they aren’t so sure. When posh Killing Kittens founder Emma Sayle, mate of Kate Middleton (the princess), tried to launch the flesh-fest in Belfast, radio listeners called in to tell her the Devil was with her.
How unlike the home life of our Own Dear Queen: Killing Kittens founder Emma Sayle (right) with her mate, KateSo what’s the fuss about?
Killing Kittens parties are big: 40,000 "clients" since the first heady orgy in 2005. Now it seems everyone is at it, all having one night flings in far flung locations: New York, LA, London, Melbourne and, er, Manchester - a place where the appetite for going down on strangers goes down so well they are onto their tenth event.
What makes this different to your regular bog-standard swingers party in Runcorn?
This is "an exclusive orgy for the world’s sexual elite", not some hairy-arsed lorry drivers. To make sure only attractive people attend, you are vetted by application form and photograph first, which you have to attach in an email to an anonymous “info@“ address.
Unfortunately, that blurred selfie of your dangling bits, which may have got you a Tinder shag in the Jolly Miller car park, simply won’t suffice.
Are there any rules?
Plenty. First of all, this is a girl-led thing - "a party by the girls for the girls", the kittens. If you are a bloke, you can only get in, so to speak, by tagging along with one. She can be your partner or she can just be a mate, but you won’t get in without a fit bird.
On the other hand, the door is wide open to the female of the species who is welcome to attend with her girlfriends. Men are merely invited along for the ride, as it were. "This is about empowering women," declares Sayle, but, alas, only some: "If you are a 20 stone, fiftysomething in bondage gear, you won't get in".
What shall I wear? Anything?
Partygoers are subject to a strict dress code: suit or cocktail dress and EVERYONE has to wear a mask. No mask. No entry.
A mask? Like this?
No, divvy, like this:
What’s all this going to cost?
£100 if you are a couple and £40 per single girl.
Hmm, I’m not sure I’m sexually elite enough
There’s no pressure to take part in any of the action, says KK founder Sayle: “Half the people go along just to watch." Then there’s couples who only have sex with each other. And then there’s the other end of the spectrum: "The hardcore, swingy lot who do it every weekend with whoever, they’re just at it.”
There’s also a lot of “girl-on-girl” action but Sayle says the men never have sex with men: “The guys who come along aren’t those kind of guys.”
Who’s doing the swinging?
This is an “AB demographic, high-fliers and hedonists”. Celebrity Big Brother’s Luisa Zissman is a fan, but Rhys Ifans was once turned away at the door “because he looked like a tramp”.
Organiser Jordie, who is responsible for the parties up north, says: “We have all kinds of different people from builders, doctors, solicitors and policemen.”
Ah, policemen: shall we do the helmet joke?
No way. this is a serious business. The location of the party is kept top secret until the last minute.
The Liverpool event is being held following huge demand, taking place in a New York-style loft, complete with medically trained bouncer on the door. Inside, expect to find a bar and lounge awash with champagne. There will be different playrooms filled with double beds. Condoms are in dishes everywhere, in the same way other parties would have After Eights.
Excitement mounting?
Yes, Jordie tells Liverpool Confidential: "We are expecting 30-40 people for the launch party here and I have a feeling that the Liverpool girls attending will be the most glamorous yet. Liverpool people are so open minded and friendly."
How friendly?
Dunno, but two KK couples from London are apparently coming up to find out.
Is there a code of conduct?
Sure is. Men must not approach women. Men must wait to be invited. Men must not look like they’re flying solo. No means no. Only the kittens (women) can break the rules. No phones.
Do say
"Anything goes."
Don’t say
"Shall we have a ciggie now? By the way, I’ve just tagged you on Facebook."
Killing Kittens Liverpool launch party, Friday June 19, 8.30pm. £100 per couple, £40 per single girl Location TBC. To take part, email here. Website
