A HUNGOVER Sunday morning is not a rarity for me. It's a weekly struggle to survive combined with a hunt for painkillers and water and then finally, attempting not to be sick.
We've all sent misspelt emotional texts, booty-called, kissed the wrong people, danced on tables (and fallen off them) and generally made an absolute show of ourselves after one too many.
Despite having a hangover nearly every Sunday for the past six years (which equates to roughly 348 bleary eyed Sundays since I turned 18, and then there's the hangovers on other days of the week too) I am still convinced I am going to die from drinking too much the night before. I curse myself for the cocktails, large glasses of wine and for thinking I can drink with the big boys and down copious shots of tequila.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila...floor
I doubt I'm alone in being tired of my hungover self. We've all sent mis-spelt emotional texts, booty-called, kissed the wrong people, danced on tables (and fallen off them) and generally made an absolute show of ourselves after one too many. I might only be 23 but already I am bored of being hungover, being a mess and being completely useless on a Sunday morning.
There are many who feel the same, and many have joined a group called Soberistas. Soberistas is an online forum aimed at women (although men are also welcome) who have given up alcohol entirely and opted for the tee-total lifestyle, particularly if they've found themselves alcohol dependent.
It offers help, guidance, chat and support for those who've decided they've had one too many glasses of vino and one too many hangovers. "Soberistas has been coined a 'Mumsnet for worried binge drinkers' which sums it up pretty well I think," explains Lucy Rocca, founder of Soberistas.
Rocca herself came up with the idea after finding herself choosing wine as her coping mechanism all too often. "I’d been toying with the idea of quitting alcohol for a few months but I needed a really big wake-up call to do it on a permanent basis," she explains.
Lucy Rocca, founder"One night in April 2011 I drank three bottles of wine on my own and ended up passing out outside my house at about 10pm. Luckily a friend drove past on his motorbike and found me, vomiting whilst unconscious, and called an ambulance. I woke up in the A&E department with no memory at all of what had happened. That was it – I knew if I continued to drink it would kill me. I’ve never drunk since."
Whilst Rocca's story might seem shocking, there are many with equally eye-opening incidents. Rocca comments, "I can’t stress enough how everything was so rotten to the core when I drank. I’d never go back to that."
But don't you miss it? It's the first thing going through my head.
"No, not at all. I knew that if I was to manage to stay sober I would need to feel really happy about being that way; if I considered at all that I was missing out on something then I would just start drinking again at some point."
She continues, "My life is full of all the things I never had as a drinker and I know that booze would just strip them all away, should I start to drink again. I have come to associate alcohol with misery, illness and a wasted life, quite the opposite of how I feel these days as a non-drinker. Apart from that I am a much nicer person without alcohol, less moody and very optimistic – I have loads of energy and love my life."
Whilst feeling fresh the morning after instead of being bleary eyed and incoherent is an appealing thought, I can't imagine being at events and weddings.etc without a drink. I put this to Rocca.
"I often get asked this question, and the answer is no. It’s a state of mind and if you stop drinking with the belief that you’re missing out then any big drinking event will make you feel terrible about being a non-drinker. But I genuinely wouldn’t touch alcohol for anything in the world and I choose to be that way.
"I don’t drool over champagne at weddings – I just think how chuffed I am that I’m not drinking anymore and how great I’ll feel all day and the next day too, while everyone else is suffering a hangover and wasting the rest of their weekend."
Drinking carnage
Now before we all start thinking this is a support group for forty-year-old women who are sick of crying into their bottles of gin (Mother's Ruin, blah blah blah), it's not. Rocca points out, "It’s a big range, from people in their twenties to those in their seventies. More and more people are beginning to question binge drinking every weekend as a way of life, and realising how much more can be achieved when you put the bottle down. The majority of our members are women aged between 30 and 55 but there is a whole range on Soberistas."
Soberistas has quickly grown and since Rocca first began the website in 2012, there are now over 28,000 members and it is rapidly growing.
Each member joins Soberistas for a different reason, Rocca tells me. "
The fall-out from that constant binge drinking can be anything from a relationship breaking up to liver problems, to just having enough of making an arse out of yourself at the weekend, or because wine has caused you to put three stone on. The common state of mind amongst all those who join Soberistas though is one of hope, that there has to be a better way – they’re just looking for a way to find it for themselves."
Soberista might be deemed as a "Mumsnet" service but there is also expert advice on hand. Rocca explains, "
Soberistas works on peer support, but we also have an Ask the Doctor page where members can send in (anonymously) their medical alcohol-related questions to Dr Julia who is an alcohol addiction expert and GP based at Southampton University.
"We also have a variety of alcohol and health professionals who write regular features on Soberistas, with subjects ranging from hypnotherapy to neuro-linguistic programming, to dealing with feelings of regret and guilt. We hope very much that Soberistas continues to grow as it has so that it becomes a major alternative resource for those struggling with alcohol dependency issues."
I might not class myself as alcohol dependent but it might be nice to experience a Sunday without a banging headache, dry mouth and a combined feeling of regret and guilt about my antics the night before. I think it's time to retire my tequila habit. For at least one weekend.
To find out more about Soberistas visit their website here or follow them on Twitter at @Soberistas
Or contact their Facebook page here.
Follow Niamh Spence on Twitter at @missnspence
Yes, we get it
