WHILST on all fours with my bottom in the air, save my left leg, which was stretched out and upwards towards the ceiling and sending droplets of sweat back into my Lycra shorts, I contemplated the necessity for anyone to endure Pilates in any form, let alone Gay Pilates.
The only point the whole thing seemed remotely homosexual was when Nikki asked us to move into the downward facing dog position and everyone giggled.
The Yoga Rooms on King Street West in Manchester city centre have added yet another incarnation of Pilates to their diverse timetable of classes. At the request of a group of fitness fanatics, who were then members of a gay-only tennis club, the Yoga Rooms assigned Nikki Charnock to teach the LGBT community to fold themselves into impractical contortions all in the name of fitness and, one can only imagine, pulling.
To rewind back to my arrival at the fitness suite, I was met with suspicious glances from the gaggle of gays huddled around the reception desk awaiting an empty studio. “Oh,” said instructor Nikki, looking at my less than flattering jogging bottoms, “you are doing it then?”
Thinking I was going sit in the corner and take shorthand on a paper pad throughout the lesson like some sort of perverted OfSted inspector, the class seemed relieved that I was actually going to get hot ‘n’ sticky with them after all.
Never having tried Pilates, I was less than enthusiastic, but felt sure it was worth a try if there was a chance of Kylie Minogue on the stereo?
No Kylie, sadly, just vague electronic typically-yoga music played as we started with some easy movements, all laid on mats.
“This is easy,” I thought. Little did I know, Nikki Charnock cut her teeth working with the athletes at Old Trafford, Sale Sharks and even the English rugby squad. She’s like a Pilates Mr. Motivator, all happy and smiley whilst you’re contemplating death with your knees around your neck.
Pretty soon we were scissoring our legs and then performing something called the clam, which basically means opening and closing one’s legs in a provocative but in no way sexy-looking way whilst squeezing one’s buttocks. It was all very uncomfortable and I wasn’t particularly skilled at anything, being about as nimble as a hot dog on a summer’s day.
What’s more, despite the clientele, it wasn’t particularly gay either.
The mats weren’t encrusted with Swarovski, the music was atypical, there wasn’t a mirror ball and no one had asked me if I wanted a cocktail. The only point the whole thing seemed remotely homosexual was when Nikki asked us to move into the downward facing dog position and everyone giggled.
Janine Kelly, of the Yoga Rooms told Confidential in a recent interview that, “the idea [of gay Pilates] is that it’s a social event as well as a Pilates class.” Something that became evident from the beginning of my visit, most of the class pop to the local tiki bar, The Liar’s Club, for a bevvy after the session, to which even I was invited. Either the classmates are extremely friendly or my new Lycra gym shorts were a bigger hit than I had anticipated
Still, Pilates or no Pilates, the gay community is often criticised for its apparent need to segregate. Gay clubs, spas, bookshops, hotels and much more meet the wrath of less than tolerant heterosexuals spouting protests like “well, how do they expect to be accepted if they can’t even eat with normal people?” or “what’s so gay about wine tasting?”
To this, I say, who knows?
I, personally, as a gay man, don’t feel the need to sign-up to a gay only Pilates class, but that has a lot more to do with the fact that I’m awful at Pilates than my disrespect for the initiative. Although, I do prefer drinking in gay clubs, the toilets are a little cleaner and no one minds if you dance on a Tuesday. I feel it is in the best interests of the safety of my partner and I that we travel with gay friendly tour operators, to tolerant countries and stay in gay-friendly hotels.
People of any minority can often feel the need to escape the intolerant and one-size-fits-all approach to daily life and if ‘Gay Pilates’ is one of those ways, I say let us have our hour and a half of stretching and grunting in peace.
Just, don’t expect me to be bouncing around on any balls at the Yoga Rooms any time soon.
Pilates for gay men and women takes place on Tuesdays, 7.45pm-9pm at The Yoga Rooms, Smarter Rehab Studios, 1st floor, 38 King Street West, Manchester, M3 2WZ. Click here for more information.
Jordan McDowell runs fashion blog www.fashionrambler.com. Follow Jordan on Twitter @jordanjmcdowell
